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She:
Wow, a movie about con-women starring Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Hewitt. It is one of the most unfunny match-ups of all time. They are a mother-daughter duo, named Max and Page. Max (Weaver) marries men for money, then has Page (Hewitt) tempt them to cheat with her. Max conveniently walks in and catches them, then sues the guy for divorce, making out like a bandit with the money, which she shares with Page. The only saving graces of this so-called comedy were Ray Liotta and Jason Lee. They made me laugh. Gene Hackman is also in the movie, playing a disgusting Big Tobacco CEO. He wasn’t funny. The whole two hour fiasco was pretty much a waste of time.
He:
Call it “Pretty Rotten Women.” The plot doesn’t seem to go anywhere but it hardly matters because both Weaver and Hewitt’s outfits throughout show more cleavage than the Grand Canyon. Liotta is great though as one of the thirteen men Max duped into marrying her. After Max and Page flee to hit the big time – Palm Beach, Fl – he pursues them, making the ending of the movie funnier than the entire beginning and middle.
She:
Director David Mirkin probably thought that it would be a sure hit since JLH was starring in this snore-fest. Her boobs are the real stars here, since it seems she can’t wear anything but tiny, low-cut cocktail dresses and stiletto heals. That was realistic. In a fashion magazine, Hewitt once said that her boobs were “her best accessory” and that she “didn’t need jewelry” when they were on display. Lucky you Jennifer; but no one believes they’re real.
He:
Meow! Regardless of JLH’s two perky friends and Weaver’s nice gams, “Heartbreakers” is not the comedy it should have been. In great con artist movies like “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,” the cons have to be funny and outrageous. Here, the cons are lackluster and boring. Oh look, she’s rubbing her boobs in his face. What a great con!
She:
Yes, I would say that this movie could have used a heaping amount of creativity to make it bearable. Hewitt’s character reminds me of everything she’s ever played. Page is Sarah of “Party of Five,” the girl from “Can’t Hardly Wait” and her character in “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” It was obvious that she was trying to go against the type that she usually plays.
He:
Of course some might see this comedy as a breath of fresh air for his highbrow attempt at humor. There are no fart, poop or semen jokes to be seen. Grossing almost five times the amount in the first weekend than the lowbrow comedy release “Say It Isn’t So,” it looks to be that many people are sick of potty humor and want a higher degree of comedy.
But “Heartbreakers” is not that higher degree at all.
This is a one joke pony that tries to fake being a show horse. Both Hewitt and Weaver are nothing more than femme fatales in the worse sense and even Jason Lee, who is usually atomic in Kevin Smith movies like “Mallrats” and “Chasing Amy,” is bland and lifeless.
If you are planning on going to this movie to watch a gut-buster, I’m sorry but you will walk out of the theater heartbroken.
