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Ahh . Maine Day. A day of togetherness, helpfulness – and a free day of slave labor for the University of Maine.
What a great public relations ploy.
“Make your school clean so we don’t have to.”
Hell, I only pay thousands of dollars a year to go here . why not give the university some free hard labor as well?
So they sugarcoat it by canceling classes, throw in some bread and circuses, a few games of oozeball, some free food and entertainment all over campus and bam – you’ve got yourself 1,000 Facilities Management grounds staff members for a day (or how ever many people show up), and in a year of budget cut after budget cut, how much better could it get?
Oh, and that 7 a.m. brigade of firetrucks, Public Safety vehicles and eager students that march outside my window? Holy shit. Loud. They should wake me up like that everyday – maybe then I wouldn’t miss my morning classes. Next year’s solution: water balloons – water balloons from the fourth floor.
The best part is that I even get to go down to the mall and pick which service project I’d like to do. Nothing like signing up to beautify my school for my fellow students, administration and most importantly, myself. Sniff. It almost makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Almost.
Well, you know what? The last time I did a service project I was in the Boy Scouts – and that was a non-profit organization. See the difference? I do – I never had to empty my bank account in order to buy my next merit badge book, so when it came to cleaning up a national park or whatever – it made sense.
So, how about a catch?
Sure, I’ll help pick up trash and beautify our school. But for every piece of trash I pick up I want something in return. After all, this is a capitalist country right? So, how about for every piece of trash I pick up on Maine Day I get a dollar off my student bill? Hell, if this were the case I’d be running around faster than a squirrel outside of Donald P. Corbett picking up whatever I could find.
And at the end of the day just bring your bags of trash to the bursar’s office and they’ll deduct it off your next semester’s bill . what a great idea.
Better yet, how about the administration does the labor on Maine Day, and I’m not just talking about Hoff walking around with a stick. It would only make sense. I pay hard cash to go here, and they get paid to ignore students. I’m not talking about professors. I want to see Hoff and his Board of Trustees scrubbing the toilets and mowing the lawn when I wake up in the morning. Give the custodians a day off – they more than deserve it. It’s time for the administration to give back to us – not the other way around.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about having classes canceled, getting free food or having some quality entertainment for the day – I enjoy that as much as the rest of you. But this is probably one of the few institutions in the country where the paying customers -because let’s face it, that’s what we are – are asked to do the grunt work. Why should I give back to a place that’s raising my tuition and canceling sections of classes I need to take?
All right, so by now you probably think this is an ignorant column – well it probably is. If there’s one thing I learned working for a college newspaper this year, it’s that people love to get pissed off from opinion pieces. And maybe I’ll get countless letters telling me how wrong I am and Maine Day’s purpose is to build community and beautify our school while feeling good about ourselves. It is “our” school after all – plus I’m only a stupid freshman . what do I know? Still others may say I’m only hurting myself by not understanding the “true meaning” of Maine Day, and it was a great time and I should shut my mouth. Well good – I’m touched, and I’m eagerly awaiting your response.
Jason Houle is a freshman journalism and English major.
