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Last updated: Wednesday, May 9, 10:51 a.m.
Sports

Waning Moments

By Ryan Waning
Posted on Feb. 06, 2003, at 12:00 a.m.

Has anyone else caught the new Tylenol commercial where this huge guy says he has like 829 kids? Until it ended, I honestly thought they were using old footage of Wilt (“The Stilt,” not ‘stilts’, there is just one if you’re catching my drift) Chamberlain.

Forget all of those other reports. He’s not suicidal or bipolar, nor was he ever in San Diego.

The truth is, Barrett Robbins was stuck in my bathroom during the Super Bowl. Barrett has family in Brewer. On his way back to the airport his car broke down. I happened to be driving by at the time and offered him a lift. When he introduced himself, I admitted to being a fan and offered him a snack. After sharing the nachos I was eating, Barrett commented that he needed the potty. Knowing my great grandmother’s recipe for bean dip had struck again, I raced home as fast as I could so he could use my bathroom.

When we arrived, Barrett was in no mood to play games and shot inside.

I know none of that was true and I’m sorry for making up a totally false story about a guy who obviously has some problems.

Now, shouldn’t Melissa “Columbo” Stark apologize for the two or three whoppers she came up with about him on the sideline on not-so-super Sunday? Unbelievable.

* You know, the windbags on the local sports talk radio shows never say anything positive about UMaine defenseman Prestin Ryan. He’s a loose cannon and a thug. So was former Black Bear Brendan Walsh. I love it. I’d clone five more of him — or maybe four until Francis Nault graduates — to start for me.

If you were skating up on someone you thought was crazy that had, in the past, punched a few people in the face –what are you going to think about? They will complain when he gets sent to the box for a crosscheck, but do they acknowledge his effect on the psyche of the other team.

I’ll bet Boston College forward Tony Voce knows damn well where No. 24 is whenever he hits the ice this Friday night.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 6th, 2003, 12:00 am. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS feed.

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