Opinion

‘Girls, girls, girls’

A bit of friendly advice for all the bloodsuckers

By Kristin Saunders

Posted on April 17, 2003, at 12:00 a.m.

As spring makes its way to Orono, love will be in the air. Well boys I’m here to give you some advice when it comes to the ladies because there are some secrets that ought to be exposed.

Girls, I admit, can be rather confusing at times, but the same can said about our male counterparts. Luckily, I’m here to shed some light on what most girls are really thinking.

For starters, gentlemen, the best words of advice I have to offer you are “don’t be a cling-on.” No girl ever wants a clingy boy. If she says she does want a clingy companion, she’s lying through her little lip-glossed lips. If a guy at any point begins to attach himself like a bloodsucker, the girl is going to bolt as if she had just held up a 7-11.

Now guys, you need to understand that it is appropriate to let her know you are actually interested by making a move. Just make sure you are not in her face every second, unless you are already making out.

If you’re able to make it this far without being in the same room with her every free second, there is another key part to this expos�: Don’t be a stalker. Now when I say stalker, I mean a guy who will call or send an instant message as soon as she walks through the door. Sometimes, all she wants to do is sit back and enjoy a moment without her boy in her face possibly to watch a good Tom Cruise movie. Don’t become concerned with where she is at all moments because when she starts to feel as if she is stuck in Alcatraz, she’s going to want to make a jail break.

For example gentlemen, if your lady friend talks about wanting to “go out with the girls,” or just wants to go out and have fun at Number 10 on a Thursday night, encourage it. Definitely do not discourage her going out and having a good time. Do not suggest that she should stay in and hang out with you, like every other night of the week, because if you do – beeeeeep – you lose, thank you for playing.

Personally I prefer the three B’s: beer, boys and baseball – or come fall, football. If some guy suggests staying in on Saturday night or during a game to “watch a movie and spend some quality time,” watch out. It is time to cut that guy loose like a small bass, the old catch and release tactic.

As college-aged 20 somethings, we all need to understand that this is the time to not care and let loose. When the tests and papers are passed in, we need something to keep us occupied and free from compounding stress. We have the rest of our lives to act like “responsible adults,” and this time is too short to waste it on going out with a guy who is suffocating you and acting as if you’re married. Before we have to enter into the “big people world” of mortgages and insurance, we need to enjoy every free second of our four to six years here.

So bottom line, guys don’t worry about getting the Lo-jack to keep track of your girlfriend. I’m sure she isn’t hanging out with a group of bikers from Hell’s Angels. Go out and both of you do your own thing, meet back up at the end of the night and then worry about doing your thing.

As the messiah of all wisdom herself, Cyndi Lauper said, “Girls just wanna’ have fun.”

Kristin Saunders is a junior journalism major.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 17th, 2003, 12:00 am. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS feed.