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First appeared Oct. 10, 2002
“Corey is Omnipotent, Omnibenevolent, Omniscient. Corey is the greatest possible being. Corey is God of the universe and has created an avatar of himself on Earth.”
These are some of the statements of belief that can be found at Coreyanity.com. The Web site promotes “better living through the love and teachings of Corey Feldman,” the 1980s child star perhaps best known for his role as “Mouth” in the classic fantasy-adventure film “The Goonies.”
31-year-old Feldman, while not starring in any noteworthy films recently, has appeared in over 30 films during his career. He appeared in the ’80s hit “The Lost Boys” and even provided his talents as the voice of Donatello in “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie.”
Coreyanity.com was created by “Reverend” Lenny Malone to “explore Corey’s love,” “learn Corey’s ways,” and “discuss Corey’s divinity.”
The site features frequently asked questions which are central to the practice of Coreyanity. Among them is: “How will I know what Corey’s plan for me is?”
The answer is, “Corey works in many ways, which may be difficult for the mortal to understand. Sometimes it is not clear what Corey wants us to do with our lives.”
Some other questions are: “If I can’t see Corey, how do I know he is there?” Also, “Why does Corey allow bad things to happen in the world?” And perhaps most importantly, “How can Corey still love us when we fail to follow his word?”
The Web site’s anwer to that is: “Corey understands that sometimes as humans we make mistakes that will ultimately result in us growing more as people. Sometimes these mistakes we make go against the teachings of Corey, but Corey understands that this is simply human nature.”
The Web site also focuses on the methods of worshipping large appliances, as Feldman did in the low-budget 1990 flick “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever.”
The site includes a “Meet the Clergy” section, which names Michael Jackson as the Patron Saint of Dance, and Howard Stern as the Patron Saint of Truth.
While Coreyanity may not be for everyone, the Web site offers insight and resources to what some may consider a bizarre religion. Questions about Coreyanity may be directed to reverendmalone@coreyanity.com.
