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Offending someone is easy to pull off, but managing to offend the masses is a true art and avoiding being offended deserves even higher praise.
So it is with “The Best Page in the Universe.” Chances are you’ve stumbled upon this page at some point, whether through a friend or by complete accident. Either way, you were either immediately hooked, or offended on the spot. Either way, I’m willing to bet the creator of this site couldn’t care less.
The “Best Page” is presented in primitive HTML, and its only purpose is to be a ranting platform for Maddox, the site’s creator. Below the title on the main page is the sub-header, “This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.” His weekly rants range from attacking easy targets like “Titanic” and Michael Bolton to going miles out of the way to be offensive.
At their worst, his essays are misogynist and pointless. He’s devoted several posts to his dislike of “Feminazis” and even made a swastika-like symbol for them. One entire essay documents making his girlfriend change the oil in his car, and getting mad because he was trying to play video games at the same time. The only plausible reason for posts like this is to provoke hate mail, to which he devotes a section of his site.
At his best, Maddox can be one of the funniest writers on the internet. One highlight is his parody of X-Treme marketing. “Think this is just some ordinary snack?” asks his advertisement. “Hell no, you f*cking idiot! This is Banana Assault – banana chips with a bad attitude!” The accompanying picture of an angry banana holding a sword and flipping you off is a brilliant example of Maddox’s proficiency with MS Paint.
Other times, you’re embarrassed to find yourself nodding in agreement with him. He attacks vegetarians by pointing out that millions of rodents in fields are killed by grain harvesting and he even accuses Christopher Reeves of being selfish because Reeves never cared about paralysis victims before he was thrown from a horse.
Maddox refuses to have banner ads on his site, even though he gets as many as 100,000 hits in a single day. While this sounds noble at first, it’s obvious that Maddox wants his page to serve no purpose but to feed his huge ego. He’s quick to point out that his site is more popular than the Web sites of major soft drinks and fast food restaurants, which only encourages his megalomania.
“The Best Page in the Universe” is written by a jerk who places humor far above what he actually cares about, but to be blatantly honest, the man is damn funny. If you can take him with a grain of salt, then you’re in for one hell of a good time.
Bangor Daily News