In K-12 schools these days though, what students are accepting as normal policies and punishments are actually becoming quite bizarre. Recently, two sixth-graders at a prep school in the Bronx were made to wear trash bags as skirts when they violated the school’s dress code by wearing jeans to school instead of the required uniform. Whatever happened to sending kids who violate dress codes home from school or giving out standard detentions?

Anyone could argue that the old methods of punishment don’t teach kids a lesson about their behavior – possibly. But how extreme and humiliating do these punishments have to be before school officials think that kids have learned something? Being made to stay in school while wearing a trash bag is one of those life experiences that I can imagine coming up in future therapy sessions. If nothing else, it’s something that their peers definitely won’t let them forget about for the next few years. As if junior high school isn’t miserable enough as it is without something like that happening? I never thought I’d actually be grateful for the simple detentions and tardy slips I received in grade school.

Besides punishments being over the top these days, the infractions that land students in hot water are getting weirder and weirder as well. In the past few years there have been countless cases of students getting suspended for bringing “dangerous weapons” to their schools – most notably butter knives and nail clippers. Just last spring a fifth-grader was suspended for finding a pocketknife in his school’s cafeteria and waiting two hours before voluntarily turning it in to administrators.

In 1996, 6 year-old student Johnathan Prevette in North Carolina was suspended after he violated the strict sexual harassment rules enforced by his school. What act could a 6 year-old possibly do to result in such a punishment? He simply kissed a classmate on the cheek during recess.

The “zero tolerance” policies that many schools across the country have embraced are becoming way out of line. While school violence is definitely a troubling issue in our country, what good can come from having such nonsensical rules? They leave no room for handling problems on a case-by-case basis, which is a shame. Shouldn’t schools be working to shape these kids into adults with good self-esteem instead of treating them like a nameless, faceless demographic?

Suspending children for insignificant reasons and concocting embarrassing punishments for them doesn’t help anyone. Handling situations sensitively and with specific attention to each child will benefit them much more down the road than throwing common sense to the wind.

Alana Brown is a sophomore psychology major.

What the school is doing to combat these rogues is entering students who dress well into a lottery to win jewelry. This is no Lisa Frank collection. They are giving out real gold and diamonds just for being a swell dresser. President Hoff, are you listening? Your spidey sense should be tingling.

As much as a clotheshorse like myself would like to see such a plan of rewards at our beloved university, I don’t think it’s our best course of action. I believe we would be served better if we punished the hordes of lousy dressers on campus. We could purchase electrical shock collars that go off when you even think about putting on that tie-dyed Grateful Dead T-shirt.

Besides, if we did have the reward system, I’d be so hobbled over from all the gold chain necklaces my friends would end up making lame “jibber-jabber” and “I pity the fool” references around me.

First off, the engineering students deserve the most criticism. I don’t really get it. They’re supposed to be the smartest kids on campus. They are so dedicated to their studies that they’ve all taken a vow of celibacy, but none of them seem to comprehend basic clothing concepts like “clean” and “matching.” Whenever I go to Hilltop I see at least one black T-shirt with a clever no-one-understands-me phrase. The jeans and T-shirt look isn’t for everyone, especially when it’s an off-white “Class of ’02″ shirt and light blue Levinskys. And a quick note to all the kids with replica University of Maine hockey jerseys – we get it. Give it a rest.

There are so many examples of lousy trends on campus. There are the floppy anim� shirts, the Nu-metal baggy and saggy pants, the phony vintage trucker hats, and many more ugly high school trends that never went the way of the caribou. At least I don’t see anyone wearing those stupid bucket hats anymore.

I know it doesn’t count as clothing, but something needs to be said about all the people that ride unicycles to class. It was kind of a novelty last year when there were only two guys doing it, but this year I’ve counted at least six of them and the joke is long dead. As far as transportation is concerned, unicycles are terrible. They go backwards and forwards for balance that they roughly equal normal walking speed. They take up so much room on the sidewalk, and they scare off girls worse than a Monty Python reference.

Lastly, a lot of the girls with belly shirts need a little reminder. If you have stretch marks, cover them up. There are too many fat kids on campus that pick up the trendy fashions earmarked for skinny people. It’s people like this that made our beloved school famous for its albino back fat collection.

I don’t understand the fat kids who dye their hair, get piercings or any other kinds of body modification for that matter. Why don’t they just modify their bodies to be not fat? If you’re overweight, you should be required to wear a bright orange jumpsuit everyday, then you’ll think twice about wolfing down those Memorial Union nachos.

Mike Hartwell is a sophomore journalism major.

I wonder to myself what the man handing out those little books hopes to accomplish. Does he think that the people of our generation are not religious – a notion that the media often portrays? Or does he think that college students in general are more vulnerable to proselytizing than the average person on the street?

I am sure his intentions are good. Maybe he even believes his little bibles are the magic answer that will save our souls. But in reality, they are unnecessary. Anyone who wants to read the bible can go to a library, church or even hotel room to find a copy. Anyone who doesn’t want to read the bible won’t accept one from him, or will proceed, after a polite “thank you,” to throw her copy in the nearest trash can. Because, let’s face it, religion is a personal choice that cannot be forced on anybody. Factors such as the family we grew up in, the lifestyle that we lead, and our own convictions influence our choice of which religious tradition, if any, we want to practice.

If the bible man does think college students are easily influenced on this matter, he’s wrong. Most of us are smart enough to know that you can’t believe everything you read, or everything somebody tells you. Just because this man finds his religion important enough to try and hand it out in neat little packages on the street, doesn’t mean it’s worth believing in.

Many of us in the younger generations stay away from organized religions all together, and for good reason: religion, politics and ideals are what separate people from one another and cause conflict. If only the words in those bibles he hands out – “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – were practiced by all Christians. Similar scriptures have existed in Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist and other religious teachings since the beginning of time, yet it is the differences between people of two faiths that is always emphasized. To me, similarities and differences between people deserve equal recognition.

Frankly, I am tired of people trying to convince me of things that don’t mean anything to me or of things on which I already hold different views. Letters from political candidates, commercials on TV, Terry Hughes’ anti-abortion signs, and yes, those little green bibles will not affect my decisions on what to believe in any way. If you want to be informed, you’ve got to do your own research, and you’ve got to get your information from credible, unbiased sources. This fact is something any college students worth their salt already know. So to the man handing out the little green bibles and to everyone else who feels the need to advertise their views to the students of this campus in hope that we blindly agree: go away. You’re wasting your time.

Galena Ojiem is a senior English major.

Opening the late afternoon show was hard rock band Ransom. Ransom has been around for a while and it is evident in their playing. They mesh well on stage and their no-excuses brand of heavy guitar blew everyone away, led by their lead guitarist who would set off on high speed solos at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, the sound mixer seemed to be asleep, as it was nearly impossible to hear any of the vocals, which was particularly annoying during their closing song, an amazing cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Head Like a Hole.”

Following Ransom was Emptyhead, well-known in Orono, especially after playing Bumstock last year. Some came from as far as Portland, having just seen them play a show earlier in the day. As soon as they took the stage, it was obvious who almost everyone had come to see. It was also the debut for their new drummer, Adam Nichols, after original drummer Mark Dugal left due to the stresses from being in a touring band. Closing with “Not Property” and “No Real Americans,” it was a tight-knit set from beginning to end. From vocalist Bryon Clapp’s stunning melodies to lead guitarist Keith Martin’s smoking solos, Emptyhead delivered a show worth much more than the $12 it cost to get in. The sound problems, however, continued through most of their set as well.

After Emptyhead finished, a large portion of the crowd left, only having come to see them, but many people still remained to see the band that left such a splash the last time they visited, Ra.

Kicking things off with “Sky,” Ra rocked the house with their new bassist, PJ Farley. Thankfully, the sound problems were taken care of by the time they started. Having had much more air time since the last time they were here, their performance at times seemed more of a sing-along than a concert, breaking down the walls often constructed between “rock stars” and their fans. Cruising through their set at a comfortable pace, Ra covered their entire CD, ending with fan favorites “Do You Call My Name” and “Skorn.” Near the end of the show, vocalist Sahaj took the time to announce that they will soon be going back into the studio to begin recording the follow-up to their current album, “From One,” and hope to return in the spring when it is released.

Despite the technical difficulties of the night, it ended up being a great rock show with great rock bands and, as Ushuaia gets better at handling their problems as they come up, more and more people will be waiting at their door.

Wearing all black and hidden in the lights, Humperdink walked out on stage and immediately broke into song, causing for all the older women in the crowd to follow suit. After the first song, he said hello to the audience in every language he knew – which actually proved to be quite a few. He then began playfully picking on members of the crowd, commenting on their lack of applause and various idiosyncrasies.

This initial part of the show was just a small warm-up for what Humperdink really had in store. The second song in the show was obviously a crowd favorite. As soon as the melody started all the people in the audience started to “ooo” and “aww” in appreciation. Humperdink sings powerful, popular love songs, and every word he sang was like magic to the anticipating ears of the audience.

After the third song he took his first small break, where he told a series of stories and jokes. Each story was in some way sex-related and started out with him saying, “Take this one home with you.” He also introduced his music director, Eddy Tovin, to the audience. He introduced him as being extremely shy, however, following the introduction Eddy jumped and danced his way around the stage to the laughter and delight of the audience.

Humperdink’s performance also included a comment on his old friend, Elvis Presley. He did an impression of the King by unbuttoning his shirt and shaking his hips. He finished out the impression by singing a popular song in the same style and voice of Elvis, which of course delighted the entire audience.

He finished the show by performing a medley of his most famous songs. The entire audience got to its feet as he walked behind the curtain to thunderous applause and cheers while women were storming the stage hoping to shake his hand.

Humperdink is one of the best entertainers I have ever seen in concert. His show was enjoyable, his jokes were fun and his overall act was just plain good, and that is something I plan on “taking home with me.”

One such comedian who has brought a unique brand of comedy to the stage, and thus gained acknowledgment and a following is the monotone Steven Wright, who will be performing at the Maine Center for the Arts this Thursday. With his everyday voice mixed with nonchalant randomness, Wright has become one of the most recognizable acts in comedy today and continues to tour more than 20 years after he first broke onto the scene.

“I feel very lucky,” Wright said. “How I speak is just how I speak.”

His voice has added to his success, but his monotone style of comedy and his unique sense of the world have added to it. On his Web site. He has an autobiography that epitomizes this form of humor.

“I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That’s still what I am doing. The end.”

His career has included appearances in several movies, two HBO specials and a short film called “The Appointments of Dennis Jennings” that won an Academy Award.

“[Winning the award] was excellent,” he said. “It was freaky. They liked my film so much they put it in theaters.”

His movie appearances, includes such cult hits as “Half Baked” and “Canadian Bacon,” which was one of legendary comedy actor John Candy’s last films before his untimely death.

“He was a really nice guy,” Wright said. “He was like a regular guy with no ‘star’ attitude. I could’ve seen us maybe becoming good friends.”

Wright is best known to most college students for his role as “the guy on the couch” in “Half Baked.” Because of this, students might expect of a Dave Chapelle/Jim Bruer type of drug-related comedy routine.

“Nah, I don’t mention it [pot],” Wright said. “I have one joke about acid, but I won’t be doing that. The joke I mean.”

He went on to say that if the expectations students have for him are based on “Half Baked,” he thinks they will be surprised, but will enjoy the show that much more.

“I’ve been around so long,” Wright said. “People your age didn’t see me on HBO or Johnny Carson.”

He said that college shows are different from usual shows, but he doesn’t change things too much.

“Some material they [the college students] laugh at and some material they don’t,” he said. “You never can tell how an audience will react.”

Wright comes to Maine from his home state of Massachusetts.

“I’ve been to Maine many times before,” he said. “I’ve been to Orono twice before and Portland many times.”

He said that since his home is so close to Maine, he came here often growing up.

“When I was a kid, we used to go to Moosehead,” he said. “It’s such a gorgeous environment. I love Maine.”

His show will be this Thursday, Oct. 2, at 7:30 p.m. in the MCA. Tickets are on sale now.

After a scoreless first half with an assortment of shots fired on net, the game remained scoreless. It was a first half that featured an overwhelming 13-4 advantage in shots for Maine, who was unable to capitalize on any of their chances. Much of the second half played out like the first did, in a heated deadlock. Senior Annie Hamel broke the stalemate, with 10 minutes left in the game off an unassisted shot from close range. The goal served as an exclamation point to Hamel’s week which saw the Maine player break the University of Maine women’s soccer record for most goals recorded over a career. With the goal, Hamel had tallied all the team’s goals during the past week. On the season Hamel has scored 15 points for the Black Blacks. Neither team found the back of the net during the remainder of the game, giving Maine its third straight victory.

Maine was able to out-shoot Iona by a commanding advantage of 17-7 and gave freshman Amy Holt her first victory in net. The Black Bears have out-shot opponents by a total of 157-54 on the season, nearly tripling their opponents’ shot total. It was Holt’s first game in goal for the Black Bears and she picked up her first collegiate shutout with the win. Ticiana Dicarlo stopped six shots in the net for the Gaels as her record dropped to 1-5-1 on the season.

With the win, Maine matched its win total from last year when the Black Bears finished with a record of 7-8-1. Maine is one victory away from tying the all-time university record for wins in a season, which was achieved in 1996, when the team finished 8-8-1. So far this season the team has had nine players garner points on the year.

Maine was expected to return to action Sunday, Sept. 28 in Poughkeepsie, New York for a battle against Marist College. But the game was postponed due to poor field conditions caused by recent weather. The game would have been Maine’s third consecutive away game which would mark the end of a road trip that had begun after a 5-0 rout of St. Bonaventure at home. The Black Bears finally return home to the friendly confines of Alumni Field on Sunday, Oct. 5 where they will play Boston University at noon. The game marks Maine’s return to America East play where they will try to improve their America East Record to 2-0. The Terriers are 5-3-1 on the season and carry a deep squad that matches up well with a very talented Maine team . Coming into the season BU was picked to finish second in America East, and Maine was ranked fifth.

I’ve been to some great games at Fenway Park, but never have I been as excited as during Thursday’s game, when I high-fived a total stranger sitting two rows in front of me. The seats may have been too expensive, and the hot dog that I ate in the third inning may have been 10 bucks, but it was hard to care at that point. Playoff baseball is back in Boston and this is truly a special time. What Red Sox fan wouldn’t feel anything but jubilation and gratitude for a team that gave us a hell of a regular season and made us forget about the past few years of Dan Duquette disappointment?

Perhaps more special than anything else was having the Sox share the celebration with the fans. Kevin Millar sang a live rendition of “Born in the U.S.A.” David Ortiz danced on the mound and John Henry hauled off of a wine bottle. What a night!

However, the journey for a World Series has only begun, and the Red Sox are well aware of that. The Sox start their quest Wednesday afternoon when they play the Oakland Athletics in Oakland for game one of the American League Division Series. The Sox and the Athletics played seven games against each other this year with the Sox losing four of those seven games. The pitching matchup for game one should be a doozy, with Pedro Martinez matching up with Oakland’s ace Tim Hudson.

Hudson and the rest of the Oakland pitching staff are a concern for the Sox, who only hit .266 as a team against the A’s this season. It is an old saying in baseball that “Offense wins games, but defense wins championships.” However, it is hard to bet against the Red Sox offense the way they have been swinging the bat lately.

Oakland had one of the best pitching staffs in the league, but the biggest playoff factor may lie in the loss of Mark Mulder a few months ago. The A’s all-star left-hander is gone for the season due to severe tendinitis. The loss of Mulder makes the Oakland staff much weaker than it has been in the past few years. The A’s plan on using a staff of Tim Hudson, Barry Zito and Ted Lilly, who have all pitched extremely well as of late.

The key for the Sox to win this series is to have a third starting pitcher step up and pitch well. Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe have been automatic as of late, but it is unclear as to whether Tim Wakefield, Jeff Suppan or John Burkett will be given the chance to give a spark to the pitching staff in the postseason. Tim Wakefield is scheduled to pitch game three, but it is all based upon which one of those guys pitches well enough in the final Tampa Bay series. The offense will be able to hit this Oakland staff, and I believe Pedro and Derek Lowe will continue their dominance against a sub-par Oakland offense.

Most importantly, the Sox need to at least split the first two games in Oakland, to avoid coming back to Fenway with the dreaded 0-2 deficit. If the Sox come back to Fenway in good shape, Oakland may be in a heap of trouble, especially with the way the Sox have been playing in Boston.

We have a Red Sox playoff team in October. I suggest you buckle your seat belts and enjoy the ride. By the way, Red Sox ALCS tickets go on sale today at 6 a.m. I’m certainly going to put my money on those, because every player in that Red Sox dugout expects to get past Oakland. We’ve believed in these guys all season. They believe in a World Series. We should too.

Atlantic-10 Conference officials decided that Maine would receive a forfeit victory over William and Mary College, and William and Mary obtained a no-contest.

“Regrettably, the effects of Hurricane Isabel have been devastating to the Tidewater region of Virginia,” said Atlantic-10 commissioner Linda Bruno. “Safety is a major concern. Power and water supplies are still not fully operational and may not be so for a number of days, if not weeks. Our presidents and directors of athletics appreciate what the staff and student-athletes at William and Mary are going through and respect the decision of President Timothy Sullivan to cancel the game.”

The deciding factor in this decision was that Maine offered several alternatives to playing at William and Mary and put forth tremendous effort in getting the game played elsewhere. Among other offers, Maine invited William and Mary to play in Orono, with travel costs paid for by the University of Maine.

In a statement made on Friday, coach Jack Cosgrove said, “We feel the conference’s resolution is a fair one. It clearly recognizes the difficulty of the situation faced by both schools.”

Maine’s overall record improves to 3-2, and 2-1 in the conference. William and Mary remains 1-2 and 0-1.

Although the team is happy with the decision, the Black Bears would have much rather gotten a win for their performance on the field.

“We wanted to gain confidence and continue to get better by going down to Virginia and getting a win, and getting the bad taste of UMass out of our mouth,” said quarterback Ron Whitcomb.

Regardless of how Maine received the victory, the team is happy because of ramifications that could have occurred later on in the season if the Bears hadn’t received the forfeit.

“We wanted to play them, but they refused for various reasons, so you almost have to award us with the win because it could have serious importance come playoff time within our conference,” tailback Marcus Williams said.

Maine began preparing for the next match-up as soon as word was received the team wouldn’t be playing William and Mary.

Richmond is up next for the Black Bear football team. The two teams will meet at Alfond Stadium for homecoming weekend at 2 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 4.