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“Tales from the Spiritual Lost and Found”
Blue Ceiling
Maverick Records
Tales from the Spiritual Lost and Found, by the band Blue Ceiling, is by far the most half-assed attempt at an album ever made. Even a person with broad taste in music would take this CD and feed it to the goats.
It opens with a song called “Spaces” which fakes a promising opening with some haunting electric guitar riffs. But once the lead singer, Rene Collins, opens his pie-hole, you know the CD is doomed. You must be thinking “With such riveting lyrics as, ‘Not admitting what we really need/You and I – we want communion,’ there’s no way this CD could disgrace music.” But folks, it does. Oh how it does.
The second track is a scary try at mixing ’80s hair band metal and lord knows what else. Entitled “Cowards Way Out,” the song really doesn’t do much but whine, “It’s just the cowards way out,” through the entire song. I do give guitarist Eric Mauriello props for his 40-second guitar solo that comes in mid-song and saves a listener from the mindless drivel that is this album.
The rest of the CD’s tracks have that “Oh, this could actually turn around” feeling. Don’t worry though – that goes away as soon as you hear lyrics like, “I used to think I had all the answers until El Ni�o came.” Then you remember it’s still Blue Ceiling you’re listening to, and it’s still crap.
The one thing they did right, however, was save the best for last. The final track on the album, “Long Way Home,” was the best-in-show. Although that’s not saying much, you can actually get into this one. It has a sort of island paradise sound to it. Unfortunately, that song is the only thing remotely close to mediocre. All in all, this album is good… for a coaster.
-By Aerin Raymond
Bangor Daily News