Opinion

My sperm – my baby

Oh no! I'm a guy and I have an opinion

By Kyle Webster

Posted on Oct. 30, 2003, at 12:00 a.m.

Once again the topic of abortion has come to the foreground in many minds. This time, however, in a strange twist on the usual, it’s the pro-lifers who are celebrating while the pro-choicers are scurrying to file suit on the grounds that the partial birth abortion ban is unconstitutional. Let the games begin … again.

I’ll be honest. I enjoy the abortion debate. In these modern times, it is one of the few issues where both sides are equally mocked for their excesses, and the majority of people actually have a stance. It’s one of the few issues that still bring passionate responses out of people, no matter what side they associate with. People actually care about this issue even after more than 30 years have passed since the debate has been brought into the media and political spotlight.

The one overlooked issue within this heavily debated topic, however, is that of a father’s rights. I know a vast majority of women out there are thinking, “It’s my body.” My comment to that is that if it’s not my body, then it’s not your sperm, so give it back.

Although allusions may be made, I do not plan on blatantly telling you what my stance is on the issue of abortion. However, I feel the need to address the hypocrisy that is our current system in terms of men.

Let’s take a hypothetical situation. One weekend, I get a little frisky with a female friend. Whether this is my girlfriend or not is really not important. One thing leads to another and we both make the conscious decision to have sex. The condom doesn’t break and she’s on the pill, so there are no worries. That is, until one month later when she’s “late.” She gets tested and it looks like we’re going to be parents. Here’s where the hypocrisy comes to play. If I, as the father of the fetus or child or whatever you want to call “it,” ask her to get an abortion and she says no, my life gets to suck because I get to pay child support for the next 18 years. On the other hand, if she decides she wants to get an abortion and I offer to raise the child myself, it doesn’t matter – she doesn’t need my say.

I understand there’s the issue of “it’s my body” and all that other crap that’s constantly thrown out, but it’s also a part of the man. The father’s mental attachment to his child is constantly overlooked or ignored for one reason or another. This may be due to the macho, hardened-male stereotype, or it may be due to the number of dead-beat dads out there. Either way, the act of sex involves two people mentally and physically, therefore the product of sex likewise involves two people, mentally and physically.

I know a ton of women out there are laughing at my argument and still claiming that men don’t understand, but the fact of the matter is we do understand. We understand the mental anguish that comes from the words “I’m pregnant.” We understand the emotional ties that occur between a parent and his potential child. We understand the fear that occurs when first seeing that pink line. But we also understand the excitement of becoming a father and we understand the financial strain of becoming a father. We should have a say.

You can pass this all off as a “stupid guy just ranting about something he knows nothing about.” You could call me anti-women’s rights or uneducated on the truth of an unborn fetus, but the fact of the matter is you’d be wrong. I am just an educated guy who’s sick of being told that I don’t understand and that it’s not my body, because that cluster of cells, that fetus, is partially the man’s body. As I said before, if it’s not my body, then it’s not your sperm, so give it back.

Kyle Webster is a junior journalism major.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 30th, 2003, 12:00 am. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS feed.