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Jared Fogle used to weigh 425 pounds. One day he decided to do something about it and wrapped his butter-stained fingers around a sandwich from Subway twice a day. This was all he ate, and he even swore off mayonnaise and cheese. After a little while, Jared began incorporating walking into his routine, as much as one and a half miles a day at his peak. When he slimmed down to 180 pounds, Jared found his way into an advertisement for Subway.
That was five years ago. Subway is still putting his well-proportioned mug into its television advertisements. This is Jared’s job. He doesn’t create anything or cure diseases. He shows up at public functions with posters of himself in his grotesque years and a large pair of jeans that are thankfully too big.
Then there’s Erik “The Lizardman” Sprague. Erik decided to make himself look as much like a lizard as possible. He had his body covered with tattooed scales, his forehed modified with implanted ridges, and his tongue bifurcated for that classy forked look. Erik was clever enough to figure out that, in America, if you are a big enough freak you don’t have to work. You can just live off of people staring at you. Erik and Jared don’t even do that. The sad truth is that Americans encourage freaks. We trumpet so-called individuality, which is really just another part of our collective impulses. When people like Erik Sprague are praised, it just sends the message to kids that individualism is always noble. Being the first person to do something different, no matter how trite or pointless, is admirable.
Although what drew attention to Jared was admirable, it’s unfortunate that it has become the center of his life. The only thing by which people can relate to Jared is the fact that he is no longer fat. Here it is, five years later, and Jared is still milking his 15 minutes of fame. He continues to turn tricks for Subway, but his role is so far removed from what made him famous that he’s been reduced to a punch line. One of the new Subway commercials features a woman taking bad advice from Jared. It’s saying that although we have elevated him to guru status, he still doesn’t have all the answers in the world. In fact, he has just one area of expertise: not being fat.
Jared did do our society a huge favor by showing us that proper diet and exercise can cure obesity. We waste so much time looking for scientific excuses for our hazardous lifestyles. Only extremely rare medical anomalies cause people who take care of themselves to gain weight. There is no secret enzyme lurking in our bodies – no man behind the curtain. Unfortunately, Jared is only one mayonnaise-free man and does not actually prove anything. We need a whole army of barrel-asses to stop leaving a trail of candy bar wrappers and chicken bones in its wake before we can make acceptable scientific conclusions.
Mike Hartwell is a sophomore journalism major.
