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With Starbucks popping up on every corner of America, some might say local coffee shops are screwed. Try telling that to entrepreneur Norman St. Michael, who has submitted an application to open the Heavenly Angels Coffee Shop, a topless coffee house, in Madison.
Now I don’t drink coffee, but this proposal has me jonesing for a cup of Joe. What better way is there to start your day than a cup of coffee served to you by a topless waitress? Talk about a real eye-opener.
Perhaps the most astonishing element of this proposal , despite its risqu nature, is that the majority of Madison townspeople are not outwardly opposing the idea. According to Robert Dunphy, the town’s code enforcement officer, St. Michael’s proposition does not violate Madison’s obscenity ordinance. In fact, the idea has already been tentatively green-lighted.
Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, St. Michael has established an age limit of 18 for patrons looking for a latte and T & A. With these precepts established, the business is set to open this summer, just in time for the tourists to get a true taste of “the way life should be.”
Maine’s reputation as a sleepy, New England haven is a huge draw for the state’s tourism industry. Many visitors to “Vacationland” come to Maine to trade the hustle of city life for our picturesque coastal landscapes and rustic charm. This is why many Maine towns and cities have strict ordinances preventing lewd and sexually oriented businesses from forming in or moving to their quiet, simple domains.
For example, the city of Bangor is embroiled in an on-going feud with Divas, a club featuring exotic dancers, located in its downtown business district. Established in 1997, the strip joint has been a lightening rod for opponents of nude entertainment in Bangor. Many attempts have been made, to no avail, to shut down the business, owned and operated by Diane Cormier.
Platinum Plus, a nationwide chain of “gentlemen’s clubs,” was given the go-ahead to establish a franchise in Bangor, via a plurality vote by the city council in its Feb. 23 meeting. The venture is being met with strong opposition from religious groups and other critics, including Cormier, who realizes the ramifications another strip club could have on her local smut monopoly. She is playing the “lesser of two evils” card, citing the fact that her club was made “non-nude” by order of the city council. This means you can enjoy everything but the “full show” from skanky girls you went to high school with, who you didn’t want to see naked then, but you’d pay to see now. The blatant hypocrisy of the whole situation is enough to make your head spin.
In the past year, even the city of Brewer, a poor-man’s Bangor, has experienced a backlash from its community regarding the city council’s decision to allow Pandora’s Boxxx, an adult video and sex shop, to set up shop in town. Critics claim that by allowing the business to take root in the city, the council is eroding the moral landscape of the community.
Such allegations are unfounded tools of the ignorant. Sex is a natural and great thing when utilized in the proper forum. Is a coffee shop the proper place to have topless women? Is it shameless degradation of women? Is it wrong to ask for cream in a topless coffee shop?
These are all questions with which we must grapple. As citizens of Maine, we can choose to stick our heads in the sand, like a bunch of ostriches when it comes to the subject of sex, or we can take a stand and collectively embrace public displays of sexuality in appropriate venues. As for me, all I have to figure out is how early I have to wake up to make the two-hour round trip from Orono to Madison and back before class starts.
Mike Melochick is a junior journalism major who doesn’t want to know how they make the doughnuts in Madison, Maine.
Bangor Daily News