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I’ve seen the new Bananas. I even have the pin to prove it, which I wear in shame. Not to knock the pins, they’re very nice. Whenever I look at mine, I get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside knowing the money I pay for tuition is being so well spent. The sense of shame I feel wells up from a wound deeper than anything a pin could ever inflict. The pain comes from a big, black-bear shaped hole in my heart. Our old friend Bananas has been replaced, and the “new guy” is no comparison.
I’ve been told the purpose of the make over was to make our mascot a little less cute and a lot more fierce. I can respect that choice, after all, a giant teddy bear doesn’t exactly come to mind when I make a mental list of things that intimidate me. The problem lies in the execution.
It’s going to take a lot more than flipping his hat around backwards to make Bananas scare somebody – for future note, squinting his eyes and painting on a scowl don’t exactly help a whole lot either. Now after all that work, Bananas just looks like some pissed-off refugee from Sesame Street, and the only scary thing to come out of that neighborhood has been Tickle-Me Elmo.
I’ve also heard that the costume was changed to make it easier to move around in. Now, maybe this is just my opinion, but when you sign on to wear the Bananas costume, aren’t you already making sacrifices? In fact, couldn’t that pretty easily be summed up as the literal definition of “taking one for the team?” Is it really that hard to suck it up and waddle around for a few hours? Nobody is expecting the mascot to jump around and do flips. After all, that’s what the cheerleaders are there for. All he really has to do is strut around the field, and wave to the kids. If things get desperate and he really needs to get the crowd fired up, he can always go over to the other side and pick a fight with the other team’s mascot.
In the end it comes down to one important truth: Bananas the Bear is more than just a guy in a funny costume, he’s a guy in a funny costume that embodies the spirit of our school.
What kind of message are we sending when we convert to “Ghetto Bananas?” I say we make a stand. After all, Bananas has been entertaining this campus for years now. Doesn’t he deserve the peace of mind that comes from knowing he has a competent replacement or at the very least one who doesn’t look like he has seen one too many Eminem music videos? I swear to God, if I see him “raise the roof” one more time I might be forced to have a psychotic episode.
Jason W. Clark is a sophomore journalism major.
