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Monday, April 22, 9:58 a.m.
Opinion

Pole position

Lap dances: The perfect study break

Do your remember the list you were given as a freshman of things to bring to school, as well as things not to bring to school? The most common offenders were hotplates, toasters and toaster ovens. Clearly these are all incindiary devices, capable of destroying an entire dormitory or apartment complex. Somehow I don’t recall strip poles being anywhere on “the leave at home list.”

According to CNN, three students at Jacksonville University learned this lesson the hard way after hosting a “pole party” in their on-campus apartment, where they installed a stipper pole – complete with red felt covering the base. The party was hyped throughout campus via fliers and signs, which read “Pole Dancers Wanted.” Women were not charged at the door. The three men offered a $100 gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret as the prize for the winning participant in the dance contest. Sounds like a kick-ass idea for a rager, right?

Wrong. Jacksonville University officials cited the three men, as well as the winning participant, for violating campus polices concerning alcohol, obscene behavior – although there was no nudity involved – and unapproved buliding modifications. The ramifications of such charges range from a reprimand to dismissal, per university policy.

So these three guys, who are now the undoubted kings of the campus, could possibly get the boot for having a party with a great theme in which nobody got nude and all the contestants were willing to participate? One can see why the campus would take a stand against open parties, especially one with a sexually suggestive theme. All that these guys are guilty of is sprucing up a boring college apartment with a little ingenuity. To kick them out for thinking beyond the norm would be lamer than my gimpy Uncle Lou, and that’s pretty sad.

I say these guys should be commended for raising the bar for typical college partying. The had a dream, and they saw it through.

I can imagine they were just chilling in their apartment, and one of the guys suggested they fill the barren space with something “cool.” The usual ideas were thrown out: poker table, beer pong table, etc. Editor’s note: Beer die is strictly a northern New England-thing. Then one brilliant innovative mind mentioned a stripper-pole and staging would be a nice edition to the pad. Lo and behold, the stage was set, literally and figuratively, for one of the greatest college party ideas ever.

College is a time to experiment and to try new things to better define and diversify oneself. The three men in question are nothing more than naive, enterprising individuals who took a chance, erected a pole and got shot down by the establishment. That’s something to think about the next time you’re in DTAV not enjoying a lapdance or pole-straddling, fully-dressed co-ed.

Mike Melochick is a senior journalism major, who’s really pissed he didn’t think of this idea a long time ago.