Style & Culture |

Partying outside of the box

Boxed wine provides a great, cheap way to party all night, if you play your cards right.

By Rachel Irwin

Posted on Monday, February 14th, 2005, 12:00 am

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As we face the bleak transition between winter and spring, college students turn to weekend drinking to soothe the unbearable passing of a drawn-out semester.

Apartment, basement and dorm parties are on the rise, with students low on Christmas cash looking for cheap booze and unique ways to consume it.

After three years of college, it’s been proven to me that students will chug, funnel and shotgun just about any type of alcohol if it’s in front of them.

I’ve witnessed vats of jungle juice, skunked beer kegs and painful Orloff vodka shots taken without chasers. But, by far the most innovative phenomenon occurred my first year when I was introduced to the “slapping of the wine.”

Picture half-filled wine bags ripped from cardboard homes, raised above heads, and hurriedly chugged without trepidation. The highlight of such a barbaric tradition? Giving the tinted bag a hard smack before passing it to an anxious neighbor or friend who faithfully eyes the bag in anticipation.

In my experience, the best round will occur when conversations end, beer die games are abandoned, and skeptics drop the notion that boxed wine is only meant for family reunions and proudly reach for the bag.

Another tip when presenting the theme of wine slapping to a crowded party: timing is everything. Take the bag out of the box too soon, and blank stares and looks of disgust will be the only thing passed around the room.

Anticipate that point in the night right before speech is slurred, eyelids droop and random hook-ups occur – wait for that moment and watch as the bag is introduced to the party like a long last friend you haven’t seen in years.

Along with a shift in overall mood, there are other practical benefits of choosing a low-cost table wine. For instance, most boxes run between $10 and $12, can be consumed by at least two experienced wine drinkers, and is a great alternative to the gaseousness of guzzling beer – if you can handle the morning headaches.

Those who have already fallen in love with the allure of cheap wine on a college budget know the preferred brands are Almaden and Franzia. But, if you are willing to openly partake in wine slapping the ultimate choice is Peter Vella, with its easy pour tap and accessibility, drinkers have better control over flow and unnecessary spillage.

With that in mind, not just any type of wine can be guzzled, especially if you have already put away ten beers or half a bottle of rum. Usually lighter wines, like sunset blush or a white grenache, are favored, even among critics.

By selecting this inexpensive choice of boxed wine, the consumer receives five liters of opportunity and an instant drinking game if beer pong and “Up and down the river” have worn out their welcome.

So if you can drop the stigma of hauling off boxed wine, share the past time with friends and always remember: “Chug, slap and pass,” because you never know when the bag will run dry.