Opinion

Holy Croc! Those Shoes Are Bright!

Ugly footwear fad creeps across our vulnerable campus

By Travis Griffin

Posted on Nov. 03, 2005, at 12:00 a.m.

I’m not a trendsetter by any means and I don’t pretend to be. Keeping up with the latest style can be too much to handle, but to tell you the truth, it’s a matter of laziness more than anything else. Even though trendsetting may not be my forte, I do feel the obligation to help everyone see what they are getting themselves into before hopping on that bandwagon.

What happened to good old fashioned sandals? Sure, you still see them from time to time, but they are slowly being replaced by the rubber footwear known as Crocs. You may not recognize the name, but you can’t miss the shoe- it’s the master of all eyesores. Being the trend follower I am, to be fair I did some research. One Web site made the claim that Crocs are so versatile, you can wear them to “stroll on the beach, or walk to a meeting.” A meeting!?! I can see my business professors now, “Remember to look professional for your presentations next week, which includes a suit and tie, and obviously your best pair of fluorescent colored rubber clogs.” The Web site goes on to claim that Crocs come in 12 colors and a pair is advised for every outfit. My mom never taught me how to match colors, but I’m damn sure there isn’t an outfit in my closet that will match those bright orange eyesores I see people showing off as if they were a shiny new Rolex.

After they finished promoting their product, Crocs sounded like the best thing since sliced bread. They are made from “special” space-age material and are so comfy and durable that anything is possible. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t see Neo throw on his bright pink Crocs before his final battle with Mr. Smith. And I missed the part where Frodo notified Sam they simply could not leave until he found his dark purple pair, and if he did, he should have kept the ring and thrown them into the fires inside Mount Doom.

So it appears that the outdoor lovers have a new footwear hero, pushing their beloved Birkenstocks into a backseat position behind these foot-shaped spaghetti strainers. I mean honestly, they are as much of a sieve as the Denver goalie was those first two games of the season. The unbelievable Croc phenomenon inspired me to further research, leading me to find their official Web site. Although I expected these funny foot coverings to be from the makers of Grape Nuts, they are surprisingly from the genius minds that brought you the boardgame Mousetrap. You may be wondering what the connection is between a Milton Bradley board game and Crocs, but think deeper and you will see the connection: they are both frustrating as hell. I spent as much time trying to figure out the new rubber clog fad as I did trying to get that ridiculous marble to propel the plastic diver into the yellow dish and eventually catch that crafty rodent.

My goal here is to simply inform, not criticize. My ultimate fear is that I will soon bein the minority walking around campus with my old-fashioned Gap sandals. So go out and do your own research, but keep in mind that if the situation is left unchecked, “Don’t forget to wear your rubbers” will no longer be a phrase exclusively for protective parents and your RA’s message board.

Travis Griffin is a third year business major who enjoys complaining about, well, anything.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 3rd, 2005, 12:00 am. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS feed.