Twitter
Facebook
Reddit
Digg
Tell us what you think!Send a letter to the editor about this or any other article in The Maine Campus.
It’s not even the start of the regular season, but it seems that legendary Miami Heat center Shaquille O’Neal can’t keep himself out of the headlines. He’s already finding his way onto sports pages all over the country, and not in a way that the Diesel particularly likes.
He first made the news when it was reported that he served a search warrant to the wrong house in a child pornography raid. Apparently when he’s not hanging under the basket in a Heat uniform, he’s hanging out at the Bedford County Sheriff’s Department in a police uniform, though I’m sure it’s tough finding one that fits.
O’Neal was present as deputies served a search warrant to a suspected child pornographer. The man who answered the door, A.J. Nuckols, described being held at gunpoint, taunted, and led into the house, where he and his family were “scared beyond belief.” It seems that the police were given the wrong IP address by the Internet provider. For the unenlightened, Internet companies use IP addresses to identify users. The mixup of IP addresses led to the police arriving at the wrong physical address. Eventually the right man was apprehended, but Nuckols is filing formal complaints against the Bedford County Sheriff’s Department.
If there’s one thing that would scare a person straight after a life of crime, it would be the sight of Big Aristotle staring them down with a gun and badge. If Shaq walked in through my front door, I’d confess to just about anything at that point. The last thing I need is to be on the bad side of a 7- foot-plus man who weighs about two and a half times more than me. I don’t even think Shaq should be allowed to carry a gun when he’s on duty. It’s just not fair. No criminal would ever run from Shaq. They’d stand there in a puddle of their own urine, tears streaming down their face, thanking the Almighty that Shaq is merely slapping the cuffs on them, rather than squeezing their neck until their head exploded.
Shaq also made the news when it was announced that the Lenovo Group Ltd., the third-largest personal computer company, had begun crunching the numbers to see who the best starting five were for any given NBA team. For the champion Miami Heat, Shaq’s name was noticeably absent, replaced instead by fellow future Hall of Famer Alonzo Mourning. I guess four championships, three of which ended in Finals MVP honors, 13 All-Star selections, two league MVP awards, and being the youngest member on the list of NBA’s 50 Greatest Players just isn’t good enough for them. The switch comes in light of the fact that the Heat had a greater point advantage with ‘Zo on the floor than with O’Neal. This is why NBA games are not played out on computers. Statistically, Shaq may not be as spectacular as others, but his presence on the court is undeniable. Even as he is reaching the tail end of his career, he has shown that he can deliver in a big way, playing in five of the last seven NBA Finals, and winning four of them.
So be on the lookout for the Shaq Attack this season. He’s already shown that he can make headlines off the court, and I expect nothing less from him, Dwyane Wade, and the rest of the champion Miami Heat in the coming season.
Bangor Daily News