Opinion

Germophobes get out of control

Hand sanitizer lets politicians shake hands worry-free

By Tony Reaves

Posted on Oct. 30, 2006, at 12:00 a.m.

I hate to break it to you, but I’m a disgusting, bacteria-covered menace. I do not, nor have I ever owned a bottle of Purell. And I like it that way.

The stuff has only been on the consumer market since 1997, and in less than 10 years has changed thousands of lives with its promise to kill more than 99 percent of germs. I’m sure you know a few of the guilty parties. They use a quick squirt of it after touching water fountains, railings or even this newspaper. Anything to keep bacteria from ever encountering their immune system.

Now, I try to wash my hands before eating, and I try to be accommodating of others’ germ concerns, but some people are just insulting with the degree to which they fear your germs.

A recent New York Times article spotlighted politicians’ use of Purell on the campaign trail. President Bush, Barack Obama, John McCain and Joe Lieberman are among those who swear by it after handshaking sessions with constituents. At a fundraiser in Topeka this month, those lined up to meet Vice President Dick Cheney were given handfuls of Purell before they could even shake his hand.

In the other camp, you have my people. Howard Dean, a doctor, isn’t afraid of the germs on other people’s hands. Neither is New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, who called his colleagues’ disinfection addictions “condescending” to constituents. Richardson, by the way, is in the Guinness Book of World Records for most hands shaken in an eight-hour period, and he’s still very much alive.

The only way your body can become immune to germs is to encounter them. That’s why you only get chickenpox once, and that’s why vaccinations involve putting weakened or dead infectious agents into healthy bodies. George Carlin once famously ranted against sanitation. I won’t go so far as to advocate swimming in raw sewage as he did, but now, while we’re young, is the time to temper our bodies against disease.

Instead of freaking out if your sandwich touches the table, have a bottle of orange juice with your lunch. Buy a bottle of multivitamins instead of a bottle of Purell; a strengthened immune system is more valuable than just staving off germs. And get some sleep.

Personally, I don’t turn down Purell because I don’t want to disgust my hypochondriac friends and because I like the slightly cold feeling of ethyl alcohol evaporating. But I sure don’t remember an epidemic of dying politicians before 1997, nor do I think about where my dollar bill has been before I put it into a snack machine and start eating the M&Ms I get in return.

Disinfection has its places, of course. Restaurants and hospitals are special circumstances, and people should be able to expect that anything going into their mouth, whether it’s a bagel or a tongue depressor, is reasonably clean. That’s just polite.

But when it’s my personal health in question, I give my immune system a workout. Rocky didn’t go on to be in five sequels by avoiding the fight in the original “Rocky.” He got there with hard training and by facing his enemy head-on.

Tony Reaves is not a doctor – yet.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 30th, 2006, 12:00 am. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS feed.