Opinion

Not your average condiment

Mustard could take ketchup any day of the week

By Rose Collins

Posted on Feb. 15, 2007, at 12:00 a.m.

There’s no way to describe my absolute love for French’s Classic Yellow Mustard. If I were approached by two animated containers, one of mustard and one of ketchup, I would be forced to leave ketchup and run away with mustard forever. It would be difficult because ketchup is such a fine condiment; however, mustard far exceeds my expectations by any stretch of the imagination.

As I was watching the Travel Channel one day, I discovered the next place I want to go on vacation: the Mustard History Museum in Mount Horeb, Wisc. This place is heaven-sent.

Barry Levenson, the founder of the Mustard History Museum, began collecting his mustards on Oct. 27, 1986, when the Red Sox lost the World Series to the New York Mets. Later, in 1991, Levenson even left his position as assistant attorney general for Wisconsin to devote more of his time to his passion for mustard.

If French’s Mustard named a Mustard King, Mr. Levenson would get my vote without any question.

Perhaps Levenson, much like myself, turned to mustard for comfort. Yes, maybe Mr. Levenson went a little overboard by collecting over 4,400 different mustards along, with hundreds of pieces of mustard memorabilia. The museum also sells more than 500 different kinds of mustard – wise investments.

For all of those who are unable to travel to the Mustard History Museum, the museum also ships gift baskets of various mustard products.

A museum tour starts with “French’s MustardPiece Theater” – the witty slogan at the beginning states “of course if they want ketchup, they’ll have to pay.” Clever, clever, Mr. Levenson.

A day that should be celebrated by all lovers of mustard is the first Saturday in August, Mount Horeb’s declared National Mustard Day. The event traditionally includes Oscar Mayer wieners, along with mustard samples, music and other forms of entertainment.

Oftentimes people question my love for mustard. Yes, perhaps I take the love of mustard to the extreme. They ask me why I like to eat my french fries with mustard. I say, “Because it’s delicious.” However, most people turn away and cringe when confronted by my love of mustar. I could say without any hesitation that mustard would be delicious on anything.

Fellow lovers of the beloved condiment go back in history as early as 42 A.D. The ancient Roman and Greeks shared the same love for the condiment. In 1658, laws protected mustard producers, making it a crime for anybody else to produce this love of my life. I believe that it should be a crime if mustard production stopped.

Fear not lovers of mustard; we shall rejoice once again when the world does not look down on us because of our fascination with something that we hold so dear. A Facebook group should be created, titled “Mustard Lovers of the World Unite.” And I shall be the leader.

Rose Collins is a third-year new media major.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 15th, 2007, 12:00 am. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS feed.