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M-e-n. Three letters. One word. One meaning. Countless emotions. You’re probably thinking, “I’ve read enough” and want to flip the page. Please don’t. If you are a woman, stay tuned, I’m sure you can relate. If you are a man and reading this, do yourself and us ladies a favor – grab a piece of paper and a pen and take a few notes. Please, I’m begging you.
How do you men find all the wrong words to mumble during a conversation? How do you tune us out when your favorite sports team is playing on your wide-screen-flat-screen-big screen – bigger than some things, I must add – whatever-screen TV? How do you find the decency to sit back and watch me slave over a hot stove and cook you a five-star meal, or relax while I wash the dishes, by hand no less, because you are not the handyman I thought you were?
OK, sorry. Every now and then I forget to breathe. Yes, I do have some built-up anger against the male species, but come on, give me a reason not to be angry. Other than the occasional roses sent to my office, the sexy lingerie laid out on my bed or the warm bath you draw for me every Tuesday night, after my favorite TV show – yes, “Sex in the City” – you can become pretty much useless if you don’t pay attention.
You should be in-tune with us. Get to know our favorite foods, drinks, books, movies, secluded spots. Are you paying attention to the fact that all these words are pluralized? Either way, get to know us, not just for the sake of my sanity, but for the sake of your relationship. Isn’t that a good enough reason? Take mental notes, not physical notes. I would rather not find a scribbled-on napkin lying in your sock drawer on what I like and dislike. It is not that hard to remember.
Given, there are the few good men out there – my number is 555-0123 – who know what to say and what not to, but they are pretty limited in number. We women tend to think our man is on the lesser scale, dun-dun-dun… the not-so-perfect scale. Help!
Nowadays it’s not uncommon to read in the tabloids about men cheating on their girlfriend-fiancee-wife, which is a prime example of a naughty no-no. Mr. Jude Law, Mr. Charlie Sheen, Mr. Nick Lachey and Mr. Dave Navarro were all believed to be good men. No, they just have great smiles. Given, Navarro’s situation is a little different. If I had a choice between Carmen Electra and Jenna Jameson, it’d be hard on me too!
Be into sports, be into money, be into your secretary – well, not literally of course – but most of all be into us. Because, to be blunt, I can easily change all the locks on the house by hiring a few real handymen down at the hardware store for a much cheaper price than what I’ve spent on you.
Amanda Sprowl is a fourth-year journalism major.
