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The one day that every man dreads – whether or not that day ever even comes – is getting his mugshot taken. Since the stockades and public hangings have been abolished in America, the only two ways to publicly humiliate someone who has committed a “crime” are through the press or the public release of his or her mugshot – oftentimes both.
I think that everyone in the world wonders at one point or another, “what would I do if I had to have my mugshot taken?” Anyone who has as little to do with their time as I do can name most of the famous mugshots because they’ve browsed through them on more than one occasion. Some of us may even have had Nick Nolte’s as an AOL Instant Messenger buddy icon at one point.
Either way, most people are familiar with them.
Only a handful stick out in people’s minds, though, as legendary. Not only are they funny mugshots, they have become quirky pieces of art.
Nick Nolte’s mugshot, for instance, is the type of thing that legends are made of. Dressed in his Hawaiian shirt, hair a mess, with the blankest expression on his face that any man could ever have – now that’s a mugshot.
Although I’m sure he’s not proud of it, at least he went down in style, and for that, has the most memorable of all mugshots. That’s worth something in life, right? I mean, after all, this is “The Good Thief,” we’re talking about. The modern-day “Bob Le Flambeur.”
But there are other legends who have had their mugshots taken. Vince Vaughn, Steve McQueen, Robert Downey, Jr. and Brad Renfro have all been arrested and have the photos to prove it – and yes, Brad Renfro is a legend. That lineup is good company folks, there’s nothing to be ashamed of there.
One of my favorite actors working today, Hugh Grant, who deserved an Academy Award nomination for his role in “About a Boy,” has one of the best mugshots of all time.
In his mugshot, Grant fights through the embarrassment of his alleged crime and gives a great face that makes one think, “hey, he may be guilty – but come on now, he’s Hugh Grant. He can’t be guilty.” People love Hugh Grant, there isn’t a jury in the world that would convict him.
If you ever get arrested and have the pleasure of joining this elite group, ask your friends, “Hey, what do I have in common with Vince Vaughn?” When they look at you asking if you’ve recently been named GQ’s Man of the Year, you can say, “Wrong, I got arrested.”
Bangor Daily News