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At the end of an era, all the great ones – from Laverne and Shirley to Mary Tyler Moore – do a slow turn, nod and hit the lights.
For boob tube aficionados like myself, it’s a signature move or scene we’ve come to expect when it comes time to close out a television series. In the sports world, it’s a bit different. When an athlete or a collection of players decides to bid farewell, spectators are usually served with a touching montage of memorable moments. Yes, it’s cheesy and most of the time overly hokey but in the end it’s just what all of us want to see.
Like a Lyle Lovett or David Gray song, we enjoy these little moments of farewell because they let us get a little emotional, even if for the briefest of seconds.
This Wednesday, 12 members of the current Maine Campus staff will officially turn off the lights on their college journalism careers. The moment won’t be grand or epic. Nor will it come with much fanfare. And rightfully so – this isn’t a TV show. To say it’s the end of an era is cocky and ignorant and not to mention false. The paper, like life, moves on.
Heck, for most of our audience, it’s probably about damn time. At the rate this newspaper makes enemies – never happily – it’s likely that these departures are just as exciting as they are bittersweet for those leaving.
Still at the risk of sounding self-serving or completely egotistical, I’ve always wondered, like most of my colleagues here, what my last words for The Maine Campus would be.
Would they be profound? Would they be original? But most of all, would they be the send-off that every naive college journalist envisions?
After four years and dozens of all-nighters while riding the rocky ship known as The Maine Campus, I needed something just right – the perfect summation of sentiment and knowledge. In many ways, what I was looking for was something reminiscent of Ted William’s final at-bat – an earth-shattering home run or a way to leave some sort of an impact.
Suffice it to say, I let go of that hope about four hours into writing this piece and when I gazed at my opinion editor’s sad missed-deadline eyes.
Realistically, my Roy Hobbs send-off was the stuff of dreams anyway. Not to mention, it didn’t properly give me a way to say thanks for those moments and people that have helped to make this paper what it is over the past eight semesters. So rather than pretend to know how to write a sentimental piece, here’s a Maine Campus notebook that I’ve gathered over the past four years at this paper. In many ways, the best way possible to say goodbye.
Best feature photo we’ve never taken:
For a paper that attempts to catch every little bit of action that goes on at this campus, I don’t know how we’ve missed this one: Dean Dana and Dean Scheele taking one of their regular walks. Better yet, how about a shot of Dean Scheele giving Dean Dana a piggyback ride? Now, don’t get us wrong – we love both – but a shot of the feisty but diminutive Dana atop the delightfully pleasant Assistant Dean of Students is one photo op everyone would love.
Comparison we’ve always been a little scared to make:
Yeah, everyone loves to compare men’s ice hockey coach Tim Whitehead to Sting. But quite frankly, that’s so old hat. How about this one: President Kennedy and Senator Palpatine from “Star Wars”? Of course, that’s before he goes all ‘I want to kill the galaxy.’ Just take a look the next time he’s hovering around the background of some photo. If he doesn’t remind you a little of a young sith lord, then we’ll take back every nickname we’ve ever given him, including that Dumbledore title from last year.
We don’t understand them either:
It’s about time we admit something: We don’t get some of those comics we publish, either. Not to knock the artists, but sometimes couldn’t we just get a nice Peanuts-style strip? I mean just once in a while, OK?
Oh, how we yearn for the good old days:
About 15 months ago, The Maine Campus let go of our crossword puzzle. The decision was met with its fair share of criticism from wordplay experts. Let it be known here, the paper never wanted to say goodbye to puzzles. However, we’re not as financially lucky as those GSS folks who can afford to get a new sofa every second Tuesday of the month.
Favorite President of a student-based group who didn’t finish their term:
This one is tough. There are plenty of choices. But we’ll have to go Priyanth Chandrasekhar just because he’s the newest addition to the list, which includes Brigham McNaughton and Derek Mitchell and also because we’ve already written about the others way too much.
The Most quoted student the past four years:
Our first tie of the notebook- Michel Leveille and William Pomerleau. One has to believe this is the only time these two have been paired together, thankfully.
Best Maine Campus head shot ever:
This is arguably the toughest award yet. There are several different ways we could go, but Staff Writer Jesse Davis’ look of death has to take the cake. Plus, you get to look at Jesse and not see his mouth move.
The Ryan Clark Award:
For the person you just can’t escape during your time as a student journalist at UMaine. In this case, there’s no better choice than the one- and-only Gustavo Burkett.
Item of food you’re not allowed to bring into The Maine Campus office:
Seafood Chowder.
In need of word for your story you can’t think of on your own, you go to:
Dean Dana, who goes to his synonym finder, or hockey defenseman Bret Tyler, who just makes one up.
Why we can’t always finish early on production nights:
You ever try reading 25,000 words while six Old Town High School students play DDR right outside your office? If we can ask for anything, please Memorial Union janitors – do us a favor and unplug the stupid game from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. on Wednesday.
Most likely to pick up his phone first when on deadline and needing some info:
Sorry, Head of University Public Relations Joe Carr, but we have to give this one to Head of Sports Information Brent Williamson just by a nose.
Headline we’re tired of writing:
Heartbreak in the Frozen Four. Big Ben, can you let us off the hook next year? Please?
Best Interview for a Maine Campus Staffer:
A sugar-high Tim Whitehead or a regular Nathanael St. Cyr.
Event we still don’t like covering:
Socialist and Marxist Lecture Series. Give us a Taco Bell-Dining Hall scandal any day.
Say it right:
For those who still don’t know we are The Maine Campus, not the UMaine Campus. Just had to get that out of the way.
In the end, these awards might not be the most profound or poetic way to go out. But then again, it’s never been about being profound at The Maine Campus. Instead – and thankfully – it’s always been about the ride and the experience.
And of course, trying to make it as memorable as possible.
Matthew Conyers is a fourth-year journalism major.
