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I read a book last year called “Promiscuities” by Naomi Wolf. I must admit, I’ve been interested in sex and society for a while. My final conclusion has always been that sex is a personal thing that is different for every individual and every couple. However, something happened to me the other week that caused me to re-evaluate sexuality as a sharing experience.
Whenever I start examining sexuality, I find myself asking, “what is it about sex that makes it so focused on appearances?” Rather than asking if a guy is worth the sex I find myself asking questions like: Is this sexy or slutty? Am I selling my body or something I’m not giving out? What is sexuality about anyway?
One day at a library, I read part of a book on “Understanding Sexuality.” It said that less brainy creatures like mice will continue to procreate and function after living in isolation. More brain-driven creatures like gorillas can become so mentally damaged by lack of interaction that they have trouble procreating. It said that even if they succeed, it is in abnormal and dysfunctional ways. Gorillas learn how to express love through experience and interaction.
Sex is a learned behavior, no matter if we want it to be or not. If humans didn’t have older siblings or sex education in school we wouldn’t know what to do. People are social beings, and we need to interact so that we can function normally.
The funny thing is that sex is still personal and makes us feel uncomfortable when we talk about it. I find myself asking, “How can people allow others to live the way they want when we have our own opinions on how it should be?”
Sexuality becomes more exploited in a culture that thrives off of controversy. Some want sex to be personal and private, and others want to talk about it. Others just want to advertise what they’ve got. Not talking would probably lead to dysfunctional people. I wonder what would too much talking bring?
Dwelling on sex as a commodity puts pressure and emphasis on sexuality. This emphasis may yield different types of dysfunction. Can there be such a thing as too much talking on the wrong subjects?
I’m tired of sex being exploited and presented as a naughty thing that deviants do before marriage. It makes it desirable as a tool for manipulation and less of a biological and sharing experience. Sex is a lot of things, but it isn’t everything. I think we should try to keep it that way.
Joanna Hynd is a second-year undeclared major.
