Opinion

There are no right and wrong ways to view Valentine’s Day

By Derek Dobachesky

Posted on Feb. 11, 2008, at 12:00 a.m.

Just about this time every year, an ongoing debate seems to pick up steam.

We’ve all heard it before – the unhappy single people complaining about how they don’t have dates, the rants about how Valentine’s Day is a sham of a corporate holiday designed to increase Hallmark’s sales and the happy couples defending the holiday. There are also the arguments that one shouldn’t buy into the holiday because it’s a prescribed day to celebrate love.

Last year, there were advertisements around campus supporting an alternative holiday called International Quirkyalone Day. According to its Web site, quirkyalone.net, the holiday is “a celebration of all kinds of love: romantic, platonic, familial and, yes, self-love.”

Although I’m not really enthusiastic about the holiday and the argument about it being a “Hallmark holiday” does hold some weight with me, I’ll admit a little secret: I do have a sort of nagging instinct that I should have a romantic Valentine’s Day when I’m single. I do have a gut reaction when I see things like Quirkyalone Day and hear criticisms of Valentine’s Day to write them off as the bitter ramblings of unhappy single people.

The pressure to enter into relationships in this society exists, whether we like it or not. The problem is when people buy into it too much, to the point where they do not evaluate where they personally stand – if they are satisfied and complete enough on their own to enter a mutually satisfactory relationship. One in which both partners enter with their convictions on the most important values in life, but can compromise on the details.

So, even though I have a gut instinct to write off the anti-Valentine’s Day sentiments, the truth is that the pro-relationship pressures which pro-Valentine’s Day sentiments encourage should be resisted. If one does not have his or her house in order, it’s not a good idea to invite someone else into it.

This is not to say that those who are in satisfying relationships shouldn’t enjoy the holiday. To the contrary, anyone who believes it is a good thing to publicly celebrate loving relationships should do so. Likewise, if one is single and decides to go out on a romantic date to celebrate, that’s fine as well.

However, people who are single for whatever reason and don’t see themselves having much success with romance leading into Valentine’s Day should do as Quirkyalone Day suggests and see it as “celebration of romance, freedom and individuality.” They should realize that being satisfied with one’s self and understanding one’s own goals and motivations is the foundation of everything else that’s worthwhile in life.

The point is to make your own decisions and respect those that others make.

If you do this, there’s no need to either trash on Valentine’s Day or make anyone else feel bad about being single on this day.

Derek Dobachesky is not that quirky and doesn’t think that love stinks, but he is alone.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 11th, 2008, 12:00 am. You can follow any responses to this article through the RSS feed.