The speech and debate team, comprised of eight students, won the North Eastern Regional Tournament, a debate competition which was in Boston this year. They trampled schools, including Harvard and Emerson, with their speaking skills and research. The team persevered without competing in all of the events, without much funding and with only four years of experience.

It takes about 20 hours per week of research from each team member to prepare for a speaking competition, according to team member Jenny Cohen. Each member needs to stay informed on current events. This requires reading hundreds, if not thousands of news articles.

For instance, in a seven-minute improvised competitive speech, the team member must use eight to 12 sources. The team is not given, and not allowed, to use research materials. This means they get out the box. The team uses the weeks before the tournament to fill its rubber bin with information. Articles and other research pack the box. Before these improvised events, the members have a few minutes to gather their research.

The team competed in 10 of the 11 speech events and none of the debate events. Thankfully for the team, the debate events are not weighted as heavily as the speech.

One of these is an improvised speech, which needs to be five and a half minutes long. For this, the competing member must give one quotation. The member is given a minute and a half for research before he or she must go on. How Mike Huckabee likes biscuits and gravy was the topic Moran had to speak on. “I don’t want to say any of it is complete bulls—,” he said.

The team, though qualified to go to nationals, will not. Though rich with devoted members and research, it is otherwise poor.

“It is difficult because we have to travel the farthest,” Moran said. This year nationals are in Tennessee. He said the schools the UMaine team competes against have coaches, funding and scholarships for forensics. “It is not too intimidating,” Moran said.

Members have started to fundraise for next year in the hopes to going to nationals. Past fundraisers included auctioning off one of their members for a date.

Although speech and debate seem to come easy for the members, getting to the competition can be a challenge. Last year the group took a wrong turn into the Bronx when the driver and another member argued about TABOR and missed their exit. “That was an adventure,” Moran said. Library fines were another debate which caused the team to again get lost.

The Northeastern event starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 8 p.m. It would be too expensive for the team to stay in a hotel for the night. Instead they make this, and the driving, a one-day trip. In university vans – to save funds – the group breaks into spontaneous song. “None of us know all the words,” Moran said between the eight members, they can usually get all the lyrics.

Though the team is new, winning is not. “We only had time to do two tournaments, but even then we were bringing home trophies,” said founding member Lyndsy Shuman of the team’s first semester.

Shuman now acts as a judge for the team – each team must provide a judge, who assesses the other teams. “They tend to try to eat you alive,” Cohen said. In some cases the competitor gives their speech to a judge in a one-on-one setting. “It is intense,” Shuman said. “They are judging just you.”

First Down: We want Bibby

I was there in 2003 when the Red Sox came back from three runs down in the ninth inning against the Anaheim Angels. Johnny Damon hit a walk-off home run that hooked around Pesky’s Pole and landed three rows in front of us. I was there in 2001 when the Celtics destroyed the defending champion Lakers by 18 points. And I was there when the Bruins . won a meaningless game in 2006?

More importantly, I was there last Wednesday for what will now be known as the “Mike Bibby Game.” “A lot of these fans are bandwagon jumpers trying to get on this now. I played here last year, too, and I didn’t see three fourths of them. They’re for the team now, and they might get a little rowdy, but that’s about it,” The Hawks point guard said before Wednesday night’s game.

A little rowdy, huh? We gave him a little rowdy – and then some. I’ve never been to any sporting event with this type of explosive atmosphere. Not only were Bruce Willis and Bob Kraft in attendance, but we’re pretty sure K.C. Jones was sitting in the same row as us. Every time Bibby touched the ball, 19,000 “fair weather” fans booed him out of the building. Chants included: “Bibby Sucks,” “Biiiibbbbyyy” and “Rondo’s Better.”

Bibby ended a two-for-seven shooting night with 12 points, one assist and three rebounds. The guy behind us summed it up best when he yelled, “Hey! Nice single double Bibby!”

Mike stood by his words after the game by saying: “The people I was talking about know who they are. If they took offense to it, they must be part of it. I guess they are all bandwagon jumpers.”

I hope someone grabs an interview with Mr. Bibby next week on the golf course.

- John

Second Down: Curse breakers

Everyone loves a bold prediction. So for all you sports fans out there, here is the boldest of the bold: This year’s Chicago Cubs will break their 100-year drought and win the World Series this October. The Cubbies have jumped out to a 16-8 start this season, and while it is still far too early to crown them, this year’s team has all the makings of a champion.

They’ve stabilized their pitching issues, and ace Carlos Zambrano has jumped out to a 3-1 start posting a tidy 2.33 earned run average. Veteran Ryan Dempster is off to his own hot start this season with a 3-0 record and a sub-three ERA. Jason Marquis and Rich Hill give them solid depth, and it is only a matter of time before Ted Lilly gets his control issues straightened out. Most important for the Cubs has been the emergence of Kerry Wood as a strong closer. Wood has already racked up four saves and two wins on the year, and while he doesn’t have the same fiery fastball from his youth, his movement and placement are significantly improved.

While pitching wins championships, the Cubs have a powerful hitting lineup from top to bottom with Aramis Ramirez, Derek Lee and Kosuke Fukodome anchoring. Center fielder Felix Pie and shortstop Ryan Theriot give them impressive speed on the base paths.

All in all, this is the most well-rounded Cubs teams in recent memory. Now all they need is a little curse breaking magic, and the North Side of Chicago will get their long awaited opportunity to celebrate.

- Steve

Third Down: Closing out a great career

He’s been one of the most fearsome closers for the past 16 seasons. He’s topped 30 saves 12 times. His entrance to a ballgame is unmistakable, and yet it might be time to say goodbye to the great Trevor Hoffman.

As my favorite closer of all time, Hoffman has anchored the San Diego bullpen for most of my life. His masterful control of the strike zone and absolutely lethal change-up has put him at the top of the all-time saves list with 528 as of April 26. Most importantly, by my completely biased opinion, Hoffman has established “Hells Bells” as the coolest entrance music for a closer ever.

Despite all of these credentials, his two blown saves and 8.22 ERA to start the season may mark the beginning of the end for Hoffman. There will be no shame when he calls it quits, and by all accounts, Padres management has no plans of pushing him out anytime soon.

“This will be the last uniform he wears. If he still wants to play and he’s as successful as he’s been in the past, I don’t anticipate it being difficult,” said San Diego general manager Kevin Towers about resigning him in an interview with ESPN.

While it sounds like his career may not officially come to an end for another season or two, it does appear that the invincibility that surrounded Hoffman is gone. I still expect Hoffman to reach 35 or more saves this season and perhaps next, but it won’t be in his usual fashion – anticipate some wild rides along the way.

So for baseball’s truest fans, try and catch some of Hoffman’s saves while you can. Baseball’s greatest closer is approaching the final innings of his career.

- Sean

Out:

Thank you to all of our listeners and readers for a great year.

“Baseball was my first love. My dad played, so he was a big influence on me playing,” Mercurio said.

The Brewster, NY, native started his baseball career when he was six years old and progressed as a shortstop for his youth baseball teams. The switch from shortstop to catcher came quickly and unexpectedly for Mercurio.

“I caught one game when I was eight, and my dad said I’d never play there again. Then when I was 10, he wasn’t at a game, and I asked to catch,” Mercurio said. “Three balls got by me, and I threw all three runners out.”

Along with playing basketball and soccer throughout middle school and high school, Mercurio saw his chance to shine as a catcher and focused on the game where he knew he could succeed.

“I realized I wanted and could play college baseball when I was out to dinner with a friend when I was 14,” Mercurio said. “His father told us that it was just a dream, and we shouldn’t try to chase it or we’d just hurt ourselves. That made me want it more because I knew I could do it, and I wanted to prove people like that wrong.”

The opportunity to play college baseball came shortly after he played at the East Coast Professional Baseball Showcase, which is run by Major League Baseball for the top 70 players out of high school.

The assistant coach at the University of Illinois approached Mercurio and was impressed by what he saw from the young catcher.

Pursued by two other schools, Mercurio had to make a crucial decision.

“Old Dominion came at me the hardest, and at the time I didn’t even know who they were. When coach Trimper came to [UMaine] they also recruited me, but I didn’t even get a chance to see the school because of Illinois,” Mercurio said.

After talking to the coaching staff and visiting the Illinois campus, he fell in love with the school and thought it would be a good fit for him to grow as a player.

“My year at Illinois was very frustrating. I played behind Lars Davis, who was drafted in the third round by the Rockies last year, so I had a lot of competition,” Mercurio said. “They never told me or gave me a reason why I wasn’t playing. I started three games and got only 18 total at bats. It was very disappointing to me.”

After a season, Mercurio packed his bags and headed back to New York, wanting to change schools and a change in the way the baseball program was run.

“The reason I left [Illinois] was the head coach mainly. He and I didn’t see eye to eye on anything and butted heads a lot. It was too much of a dictatorship for me because everything had to be done one way. The minute I got there, they started changing things. I wasn’t the only miserable one there, but [I was] one of the only kids who wasn’t from Illinois, so I had no problem leaving that school,” Mercurio said.

“I chose [UMaine] because there was a certain comfort level I felt here. Kevin Jackson and I played together on the World Yacht Clippers since we were 12 years old, and I have played against Myckie Lugbauer since I was nine,” Mercurio said. “It was very easy having those guys here. Also Joe Miller had played for the Clippers as well, and when he was looking to transfer from High Point, we talked and this was the best fit. I didn’t really look anywhere else. I knew this was where I should’ve been all along.”

Bouncing around from town to town and state to state, Mercurio had to adapt to the different climates and scenery that each state offered.

“Going from New York to Illinois was weird because there is nothing out there,” Mercurio said. “I’m not exactly from the city, but I’m not used to looking in all directions and seeing nothing. But baseball is baseball everywhere.”

Just like Freddie Prinze Jr. and a scene right out of “Summer Catch,” Mercurio will also be traveling to Cape Cod, Mass. this summer to play in the elite Cape Cod baseball summer league.

“It’s not an easy league to play in, but I feel I’m ready for it and it’s going to be a great opportunity for me,” Mercurio said.

For Mercurio, this summer could be a step in the right direction for a future in baseball.

“It’s the best opportunity to play in front of scouts for me. Hopefully I play well and keep some eyes on me. It’s very exciting, but I don’t want to jinx it,” Mercurio said.

If a future in baseball isn’t on the path ahead for Mercurio, he still plans to be close to the game, and sports in general, after the ride is over. The broadcast journalism major hopes to be on television one day, except on the other side of the game as an analyst.

“Broadcasting will be fun and I know a lot about other sports so it would be really easy for me to help them out, something with ESPN hopefully.”

The Maine Campus: You guys have a pretty crazy tour schedule, do ever get sick of it? Do you get tired?

Tony Thaxton: “Oh, there are definitely days when it gets a little old. But at the end of the day, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing for a living, so I can’t really complain.”

TMC: When did you know you guys kind of made it big?

TT: “Did we? I don’t know if I’d say we’ve made it “big”. We don’t get played on the radio. We’ve gotten to play on a handful of TV shows. That’s about it. But, we are getting to pay our bills playing music, so we are happy. If we were able to get to the next level, we wouldn’t complain. It’d just be a nice bonus.”

TMC: Have you been to Maine before? When, why and what did you think?

TT: “We have played Maine twice before. Once at a club in Portland, and then a college show once before. In all honesty, even though we have been, we didn’t really get to see much. So, I don’t know if I can fairly give an opinion. It seems nice though! Hopefully we can see more this time.”

TMC: File-sharing has been a huge issue this year at the University of Maine, with a few students on campus being prosecuted by the RIAA. It seems almost anyone under the age of 35 is probably guilty of file sharing. How do you feel about the RIAA and how they are attempting to preserve the traditional method of selling records? Do you feel they are helping you sell records and make money? How do you feel about what Radiohead did by offering a “pay what you want” option to download their album? Have you considered this? Do you think it will catch on?

TT: “Radiohead really did something interesting. I think we would certainly be open to trying anything really. The music business really needs to figure things out. File sharing is such a mixed thing. On one hand, it makes it so easy to check out a band. If you heard a band’s name and want to hear what they sound like, it’s so easy these days. But, now, no one is selling records. It seems the days of selling 10 million records are over. For anyone.”

TMC: What’s the worst show you’ve played?

TT: “A basement show in Lansing in 2002. It was before Justin had cleaned himself up, and he got incredibly drunk before we played. When he started singing, I thought he was joking. It seemed like the stereotypical drunk bad acting in a movie. Not a fun night.”

TMC: What’s the worst interview question you’ve been asked?

TT: “‘What’s the worst interview question you’ve been asked?’ Joking. It was too easy, I’m sorry. How about the weirdest one? I was once asked, ‘If you met a stick man, what would you say to him?’”

TMC: Who have you been listening to lately and what was the last album you bought?

TT: “Lately I’ve been listening to the new Raconteurs, Flight of the Conchords, and Nada Surf. I think the Raconteurs record was the last thing I bought. I didn’t even know it was coming out. I was stoked. And the first track Rules!”

TMC: Most people ask what artists are most influential to your music, but what songs do you think have influenced you the most over the years?

TT: “Even though I don’t play anything like this, probably my favorite drum song of all time is ‘Hot For Teacher.’ Alex Van Halen rules. My favorite song of all time is probably a tie between ‘Blizzard of 77′ by Nada Surf and ‘Bicycle Race’ by Queen. And I love everything Ben Folds does.”

TMC: Do you have anything you like to do before a show? Any rituals you do? Any lucky underwear or necklaces you like to wear to shows?

TT: “Nothing too crazy. I just warm up on my practice pad for a while and do a lot of stretching. Stretching is most key. No stretching is bad news.”

TMC: How is playing with Panic? Do you think the two bands mesh well together? Were you fans of their music before you started touring with them?

TT: “I really like the direction they took with their new record. There are some great songs on that record and they sound great live. It’s a great tour for us to be a part of.”

TMC: How do you feel about playing the “Honda Civic Tour?” Do you think it has any element of selling out associated with it? Is that even a worry for you?

TT: “People always call bands sellouts for just about anything they do. I don’t worry myself about that. I just go out and play, and try to do what we want to do as a band and hope people like us.”

TMC: What’s your favorite thing about your fans? What’s your least favorite? Do you have any “crazed fan” stories?

TT: “Our fans are pretty loyal. We have great fans who come out to so many shows. We even have fans who not only travel from city to city to see us, but state to state and even country to country. It’s pretty amazing.”

TMC: Do you have advice for aspiring musicians?

TT: “Practice! If you are in the early days of your band, get out there and play any and every show you can. Expect a lot of shows to suck, and for no one to be there. But that will lead to more shows and better shows. It’s all a growing process. If you work hard, it can pay off.”

Tickets are still available for Friday’s show for $20 at umainetix.com. Thaxton will be drumming for Motion City Soundtrack, along with three other bands: headliner of the event, Panic at the Disco, Phantom Planet and The Hush Sound.

The slight breeze blew across UMaine’s Mike Kessock softball field and caused the fans in the stands to shiver just a little – it was the fifth inning, and the Black Bears were up 1-0 after Souhlaris’ score earlier in the game.

Souhlaris was on the pitching mound and had just collected back-to-back strikeouts. The third Colby batter hit a single up the middle – almost jeopardizing the Black Bears’ win. The crowd grew restless when a walk was issued to the next batter to put runners at first and second. Souhlaris forced Colby to ground out to the catcher and sealed the shutout win for the Black Bears.

Souhlaris, as a starting pitcher and outfielder, is one of the only dual position players on the Black Bears squad and has gained multiple praises from fellow teammates throughout the season.

“Alexis does a great job of working batters. She had great control and makes her pitches work,” third-year infielder Ashley Waters said.

Things weren’t always positive for Souhlaris this season – the Black Bears started out 0-26, and before the Colby game, Souhlaris had a pitching record of 1-9.

Tables turned when UMaine faced Colby, and Souhlaris retired 12 batters in a row and got the first shutout of the season. Despite her numerous accolades, the former Derry, New Hampshire native and 2006 Gatorade Player of the Year remains humble.

“Our defense sets a good tone out there, so that is definitely a positive to look at,” Souhlaris said.

A standout pitcher and outfielder at New Hampshire’s Pinkerton Academy, Souhlaris shined last year as a first-year center fielder for UMaine. With a team-leading .367 and 22 RBIs, she was named to the All-America East Team and All-America East Rookie Team.

Despite Souhlaris’ outfielding skills, Head Softball Coach Stacey Sullivan requested that she return to the mound – a place she dominated throughout her high school career.

She and Sullivan established a close relationship before Soularis attended UMaine.

“I had only looked at two other schools for unofficial visits – UMass Lowell and Merrimack College – before considering [UMaine] and Coach Sullivan was the coach for Merrimack at the time,” Soularis said. “She was originally recruiting me to play there, but when she got the job for [UMaine], she decided she still wanted to recruit me to play for her up there. I’m totally happy with the decision I made.”

“My favorite thing about softball is when you’re dirty, sweaty and bleeding from giving your all and having it pay off with a big win in extra innings. Looking at my teammates’ faces when we win big like that is priceless,” Souhlaris said. “I want to leave here knowing I left a mark on this program, and I’m already pretty close to setting the stolen base record – so that would be nice to see happen. But even more to that, I just want other coaches and players to recognize me and remember my name as a softball player.”

Souhlaris played dual roles on the team throughout the season and worked both positions last summer when she played for Storm USA, a California team that won the national championship for Women’s Majors Class A last year.

“Knowing that there’s always better out there and room to improve is what really inspires me,” Souhlaris said. “Just the idea that I can always get improve and there’s always someone that could be better than me out there really motivates me to keep playing hard.”

“I love to work out. I also love watching the Red Sox, listening to my iPod at an unreasonably high volume and being around my friends and teammates,” Souhlaris said. “Also, sleeping and eating ice cream.”

The Black Bears are 8-35 overall and 7-7 in America East play, and the team is still in contention for a postseason berth.

A kinesiology and physical education major with a concentration in health and nutrition, Souhlaris hopes to become a personal trainer and a softball coach.

“I know that I’d like to have a flexible schedule because I’d love to be able to coach in a high school setting,” Souhlaris said. “My ultimate goal would be to open my own place and be my own boss.”

For now, Souhlaris is the boss of the pitching mound and the outfield.

“I knew Adam at first from playing on the Maine Soccer team,” first-year teammate Tom McCole said. “He later became more then just a teammate but a great friend. I knew him from the many days we spent at Knox Hall, going to the Rec. Center, eating at Hilltop, the long road trips to games and the many practices in the back field.”

“[Adam] was a genuine, hard-working, charismatic person on and off the field,” fourth-year teammate and captain Kiaran McCormack said. “He always had a huge grin on his face.”

The men’s soccer team, along with UMaine faculty, welcomed Baxter’s parents from Skegness, England over the weekend.

“His parents had intended to come to the U.S. over spring break and bring Adam to New York City and then onto Florida,” McCormack said. “It was a very emotional experience for his parent’s and everyone involved with Adam.”

“They wanted to come and see the campus,” Head Coach Pat Laughlin said. “Adam really enjoyed his time at UMaine.”

During their visit, Baxter’s parents were able to meet teammates, faculty members and friends during a variety of events and activities.

“Friday was a very special day,” McCole said. “For many of the players on the team, it was their first time meeting the Baxters, and for us boys who went to England, it was a valued reunion.”

According to Laughlin, Baxter’s parents’ visit was coordinated with the spring schedule – this weekend anticipated the best weather and best location for them to watch the soccer team play.

“They wanted to see the team play,” Laughlin said. Adding, “I think as a player, Adam was always someone who tried to do his best. He had a real winning mentality; [he] really competed hard at all times.”

The team played two games this weekend at Husson with Baxter’s parents in attendance.

“It was two emotional friendlies [sic] for everyone,” said McCole. “The team commemorated Adam in pregame wearing T-shirts that the Baxters had brought as gifts.”

“He was a natural leader, always talking and shouting during practices and games,” McCormack said. “When Adam came to the U.S., he had two bags, not like the car loads of stuff most freshmen have when they first arrived. In this way he was uncomplicated, and cherished the friends he surrounded himself with rather than material things.”

“Adam enjoyed soccer, obviously, reading, watching, or pretty much anything to do with the game,” McCole said. “He also enjoyed music, and I later found out about an interest in art. He was a character who never failed to raise a smile in anyone.”

While Baxter is no longer running up and down the field as a UMaine soccer standout, his presence is still felt.

“For all of us, I think it was the final farewell to Adam, but he will never be forgotten,” McCormack said. “His parents have set up a scholarship fund for incoming soccer players, and there will be an award for best new player on the team named in his honor.”

“I think for the players, for all the players, it was an emotional visit,” Laughlin said. “It was a time to celebrate his life.”

Drink less booze. This might sound strange coming from someone who writes a column titled “Beer Police,” but more bad decisions can be made in one belligerently drunk evening than the entire rest of a college career. I am not encouraging complete sobriety – although I hear good things – but moderation is fantastic. It ought to be understood that the goal of nights out is to have a good time, not pray to the porcelain god and regret your drunken hook-up the next morning.

Watch less television. One will never be counting down their last weeks of college life and think, “Damn, I wish I had sat inside more often and caught up with ‘Lost.’” There is enough to do in Orono/Bangor/the state of Maine that the old excuse of “there’s nothing to do” doesn’t hold water.

Go to at least one UMaine production per year. Chances are you might actually know someone in the performance, and they are surprisingly well-done shows. They’re usually free and at worst, you’ve lost a couple hours and gained something to bitch about for the next few days.

Go to all the lectures that fit in your schedule. Despite being mostly out in the sticks, interesting individuals come to UMaine – besides the MythBusters. Some of the most intellectually stimulating events I’ve been to were not part of any class, simply lectures I’ve attended.

Peruse the “Announcements and Alerts” folder on FirstClass. Despite what you may think, there are oft-overlooked events in there.

Speaking of FirstClass, keep your log-on time to a minimum and avoid the UMaine Forum. It’s a life-sucking force that encourages people to get in semi-anonymous “flame wars.” The majority of the posts are made by the same dozen people that have insane views.

Don’t get too upset over people with insane views, and meet new people. You will never meet all of UMaine’s most interesting individuals, but you might as well try. They don’t usually seek seclusion, often hiding in obvious places like the Oakes Room or even the editorial board of your local newspaper. You will hear views that don’t necessarily jive with your own. Hear these people out. At least be understanding as to why they feel the way they do. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It makes you a better person to understand multiple viewpoints.

Become involved in one group that doesn’t make you feel like you’re paying for friends. It becomes both easier and harder to get involved as your class standing rises. This dichotomy exists because of vacating upperclassmen and the inevitability of finding a comfortable groove. Find something you’re interested in and give your time to it, even if it doesn’t pay.

Things do not always fall into your lap. It would be nice if things were handed to you, but it is a rarity that it works out this way. You will need to strive in order to take advantage of the majority of the opportunities presented.

Write for the newspaper – even if it’s not The Maine Campus. There is something definitively satisfying about seeing your name in print, and the Bangor Daily News often publishes student articles and opinion pieces.

Support local establishments. The next time your friends decide to go out to Olive Garden or Denny’s, convince them to check out the Thai place on Mill Street or the Indian joint in Bangor. The food may be a little pricier, but you would be giving your money to your neighbors, not a corporation based in New York. Some places even accept MaineCards

Don’t be too proud to admit fault or deny help. People hate perfect individuals. It makes you approachable to show your flaws. Flaunt them. Be aware of your limitations and work on them.

Enjoy your time here. With that said, know when you should finish up. They say graduating in four years is kind of like leaving a party at 9 p.m., but no one wants to be the guy passed out in a corner, covered in Magic Marker at 5 a.m. I know I am being quite cliche when I say this, but my college experience did not last as long as I had anticipated. Four years seems like a long time when you’re 18, yet when 22 rolls around, it’s hard to explain where all the time went. Seeing as time is money, spend yours wisely.

Bretty Sowerby once was blind but now is old instead.

ROFLCon is a convention about the intricacies of the Internet meme. Memes – pronounced “meems,” is a term devised by Richard Dawkins in his book, “The Selfish Gene,” to describe the ways in which Darwinian theories of evolution could apply to human culture. Today, a meme is what we call funny pictures of cats that say “OH HAI.”

In the days of broadcast television and films, celebrity was scarce, explained David Weinberger, a Fellow at the Harvard Berkman Center, in his keynote speech. “It was all about alienation.”

Now, technology is “taking revenge on 100 years of broadcast” by emphasizing the imperfections of homemade media. “Perfection is the enemy of credibility,” Weinberger explained. “We’re ceasing to believe that which is too perfect. There’s got to be a problem somewhere.”

Which is what brings us to Tron Guy. Jay Maynard is a 47-year-old man from Minnesota. He is also a fan of Tron. While planning to attend a science fiction conference, Maynard used his LiveJournal to share plans for an elaborate costume made of spandex with glowing pieces of armor powered by 10 AA batteries and a Nine-Volt.

“I know I need to lose about 40 pounds and I know this costume isn’t flattering,” Maynard said. Nonetheless, when pictures of him wearing the suit showed up on the Internet, “My life turned upside-down in a matter of hours.”

Not all of it was pretty – darker, more cynical communities like Somethingawful.com were brutal; at the same time, Maynard started getting requests from morning-show DJs who would bring him on as a guest to mock him, which he called the worst experiences he’s ever had.

Eventually, Maynard ended up on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” for a total of 15 appearances. While the butt of jokes on mainstream television, Maynard said the people who talk to him or read his blog get it on a different level.

“Your mechanism of saying, ‘this is who I am, f— you’ It’s awesome,” said one audience member.

Maynard is an unlikely celebrity in a broadcast world. But then, so are people like Kyle MacDonald, who traded up from a red paperclip until he was able to purchase a house in rural Canada. While there are some celebrities who are born from the Internet – Tila Tequila comes to mind – there are fewer who can make it last without traditional media backing them. Tequila’s self-promoted CD, for example, sold significantly fewer copies than she expected. It serves as a warning to anyone who uses the net in a conscious effort to make money or fame.

“People on the Internet are remarkably adept at spotting bulls—,” said Maynard.

While many are tempted to explain the spread of ideas on the Internet as a product of new technology, the idea of the Internet meme is fundamentally the same as the way jokes get told. As a result, studying the way jokes get told on the Internet allows for a simplified model to earn insight into how technology changes the way we communicate.

“Internet humor is localized humor,” said Alice Marwick, a Ph.D student at New York University, who spoke on the subject of “Microcelebrities.” On the internet – like any other culture – fame is given to people who possess the traits culture most wants to possess: Maynard standing up for himself makes him an Internet folk here; so does the intelligent wit of someone like Ryan North (Dinosaur Comic Guy) or Randall Monroe (XKCD Guy).

With the Internet capable of supporting a limitless supply of subcultures, it’s only natural that it can give us an explosion of Web celebrities, with its own definition of “famous” stretching to include people no one has ever really heard of, for something they made while bored at work.

Web sites:

roflcon.org

tronguy.net

oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com

qwantz.com

xkcd.com

In the past few months, Harmon has been competing as a member of Invictus, the University of Maine club track team founded at the start of the fall semester, with hopes of joining the UMaine varsity team next fall.

“I think Matt is really showing what we want the track club to exemplify, as kind of a stepping stone, which has given him the opportunity to compete and hone his skills a little bit,” Invictus President and Co-Founder Dillon Bates said. “When he does make the leap up to varsity, I think he’ll be much better for it.”

Harmon has competed at meets all over New England, consistently performing at a high level with honors such as a first-place finish at Maine USA Track and Field Club Championships.

“He’s talented, and he’s dedicated and quite simply makes a very good role model for the rest of the team,” Invictus member Krista Ricupero said.

But as with most great athletes, Harmon’s most important and life-changing battles have taken place outside the arena.

At age 10, Harmon was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma after doctors discovered a tumor that caused severe spinal curvature, as well as a tumor in his calf and some of the disease in his liver and kidneys.

Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma is used to describe any of a large group of cancers affecting the immune system. It is generally marked by enlarged lymph nodes, fever and unexplained weight loss. More than 66,000 new cases are diagnosed in a year, and 19,000 people die from the disease annually, according to the National Cancer Institute.

After successfully undergoing chemotherapy treatments, Harmon was given a clean bill of health, but recovery proved frustrating at times.

“My spine was curved, and I really couldn’t walk because my spine was messed up,” Harmon said. “I remember going down and playing basketball, trying to jump, and after a year of not being able to do physical activity, I couldn’t jump, and I was so angry. I couldn’t lift my legs more than a few inches.”

Years later, Harmon picked up throwing as a first-year in high school, but described his performances as less than stellar.

“The first time I ever threw, freshman year, first throw: 22 feet with a 12 pound shot. That’s not good,” Harmon said with a laugh.

Harmon blamed his early futility not on his cancer treatments, but on unfortunate genetic circumstances.

“If you saw pictures of me when I was a freshman, you’d swear I was in fifth grade,” Harmon said.

As he matured, his throwing potential was finally tapped, and Harmon began taking throwing more seriously.

“Freshman year, I just [threw] to chill with my friends, and then sophomore year, at Indoor KVACs, I was fourth, and I was like, ‘I could be good at this.’”

Dedicating himself to track entirely, Harmon hit the weight room hard during the summer and placed fourth in the indoor championships again his junior year. After taking second in the indoor competition his senior year, Harmon finally broke through, winning a conference championship in shotput his senior outdoor season. A wrist injury that began in the middle of the indoor season made Harmon’s accomplishments even more special.

“[In the] middle of senior year, I was throwing shot and my wrist started to hurt, so I went to the doctor. At first they thought my bones were softer from the chemo, but then they said that because of the way my bones are, [it was] just my body type. When I throw, one bone hits another bone, and it makes it swell and it cuts the blood circulation off,” Harmon said.

For his efforts, Harmon was invited to compete nationally at the Scholastic Indoor Track and Field Championships and finished 38th out of 54 throwers from around the nation.

With Invictus and UMaine crossing paths at several meets, Harmon has had a chance to get to know the UMaine varsity throwers.

“It’s like being a freshman on a team, where you catch s— and you have to carry all their equipment, only I don’t have to carry equipment, I just catch s—. But I’m buddies with all of them,” Harmon said with a grin.

When Harmon is not on the track, he maintains a slew of eclectic hobbies. Long before throwing, his first love was baseball.

“I did baseball from the time I could pick up a bat until about 10th grade. I was pitcher and second base. The biggest, slowest guy on the team was a second baseman,” Harmon chuckled.

Harmon’s competitive nature often shone through on the field.

“Once I had a no-hitter through six innings, and they took me out. I walked two guys, they were like: ‘you’re tired,’ I was like, ‘I have a no-hitter, it’s the sixth inning.’ I was so angry,” Harmon recalled. “I was good at baseball, but I was better at track.”

Harmon also drums in his spare time and has for nine years. He proudly displayed a tattoo of a large drum kit between his shoulder blades.

When asked about his idols, Harmon expressed an admiration for Olympic thrower Adam Nelson, whom he felt he could relate to.

“[Nelson] was like me. In high school, I was second place all the time until senior year [when] I won KVACs. He was second at the Sydney Olympics, the Athens Olympics and he was second in three world championships, but he finally won one in [the] 2005 [Helsinki World Championships],” Harmon said.

With a year of competition under his belt and a lifetime of adversity behind him, Harmon is poised to make a splash as a member of the UMaine team in the fall.

Henley’s Invictus also said, “In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeoning of chance, my head is bloody but unbowed.”

For Matt Harmon, whether bludgeoned by chance with a life-threatening illness or career-threatening injuries, his head is held high, proudly unconquered.

Next year, we would like to see more diversity in the entertainment Student Government brings to campus. This includes bands from genres other than emo and more guest lectures. Hiring Andrew Gerke as the vice president of Student Entertainment, we believe, is a great first step in achieving this, as he can bring fresh ideas to SG.

We would also like to have more university-sponsored events for graduating seniors, with more revolving around non-drinking activities.

Another step to helping seniors adjust to their post-college life would be to have a wider-encompassing career fair. This year’s had a lot of employers, but seemed to target a narrow field of majors.

Although the campus has made baby steps toward becoming greener, we believe the University of Maine should be taking bigger steps, supporting existing green programs and leading the way toward a more eco-friendly future.

Students seemed opposed to the change from Web DSIS to MaineStreet for class signups this year, but looking back we think this was a great change. The university clearly wanted to make student sign-ups more convenient and less stressful, and it succeeded.

Lastly, we hope UMaine will look to students for input on important upcoming changes.

In sum, we hope student and university leaders continue to push for innovation and growth next year.