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As students milled around Starbucks in the Memorial Union on a snowy afternoon, Mandy Becker, 27, rummaged through her purse to find six toy cars. Among her school supplies and wallet were toys to distract her 3-year-old son, Conner.
Shying away from anyone but his mom, Conner opened up as soon as his cars hit the table.
“That’s not a firetruck. It has fire on it,” he corrected Becker when she referred to one of his trucks.
He was quick to show the matching car on his T-shirt. “Whoopsies,” he said as he bumped his cars off the table.
Becker is a returning student at the University of Maine. This time, she had someone else to keep in mind.
She received her first undergraduate degree in elementary education five years ago. After graduation, she married and gave birth to her son Conner. When she and her husband split up, Becker realized she needed a job that would support both her and Conner. She explained she was looking for a career path that was more “solid.”
Becker has been back at the university for two years and is taking foundation classes to obtain her graduate degree in speech and language pathology.
She lives in University Park, housing for families that work or attend UMaine, and works at the Shared Processing Center in Neville Hall. Conner attends daycare on campus.
Maeghan Applegate, 22, has a similar story. At age 20, during her second year at UMaine, she found out she was pregnant.
Although her parents were less than supportive, and her roommates asked her to move out, Applegate chose to go through with her pregnancy and her schooling at the same time.
“I don’t believe in abortion and I didn’t have it in me to put my child up for adoption. It was just the way it had to be,” she said in a phone interview.
Her daughter Jillian is now 16-months-old. They live in Belfast with Applegate’s husband and his eight-year-old daughter, Leona. The two met while living in University Park were married in December.
Applegate is a fourth-year majoring in university studies, taking classes at the Hutchinson Center and online. Her husband received his degree last spring and now works at Bank of America.
Although the two mothers are at different places in life, they can both agree that returning to school with a child is a hard task.
“Everyone would agree it’s hard coming back with a kid, but everyone’s definition of hard would be different,” Becker said.
“There really isn’t time for anything else,” Applegate said on raising her children and attending school.
Becker and Applegate both mentioned that University Park was helpful in returning to school.
“I was really, really excited when I found out about the family housing on campus,” Applegate said. “Through the kids, the parents became connected. It was a really cool place to live.”
“If I did not get into University Park, I wouldn’t have been able to get out of my mom’s house and move up here,” Becker said.
Although their living situations made returning easier, both mothers have discovered that life is a balancing act, and UMaine is not always child-friendly.
Applegate explained that when she returned to school with Jillian, she didn’t know whom to turn to and eventually connected with other parents in the non-traditional student folder on FirstClass. With this small group of people, she worked toward creating a room for nursing mothers in the ALANA center.
However, the room is located on the fourth floor and was not child proof at first. “There were a bunch of different concerns,” Applegate said.
Becker worries about childcare for Conner. When she becomes a graduate student, most of her classes will be offered only at night. Most daycares close at 5 p.m.
Before Conner attended daycare on campus, Becker would have to drive to Bangor to drop him off in the morning before class and work.
“When daycare ends, that’s when your support ends, unless you have family and friends,” she said.
Commuter and Non-Traditional Student Programs offers a list of resources on its Web site including childcare centers, housing and a link to Parents on Campus, the group Applegate helped start. However, the list is not extensive.
In February, the university is offering a new class called, “Incredible Years” Parenting Classes. They will be taught by Leslie Forstadt, a child and family specialist. The 12-week program will be taught on Monday nights in Corbett Hall for parents with children under nine. Food, drink and childcare will be provided.
“I think the university is moving in the right direction,” Applegate said on the phone as her children chattered in the background.
Becker explained that she hopes Conner will learn independence from growing up watching her juggle work and school to raise him at UMaine.
“When he gets older, hopefully he’ll know how to manage more than one thing at a time,” she said.
Applegate mentioned that attending school has become a norm for her children.
“It’s a huge time constraint with the kids. Other than that, it’s pretty normal for them,” she said.
Both mothers said that although they do the best they can, they still miss spending more time with their children.
Becker expressed guilt, but as Conner hid his blond hair and brown eyes in her chest it was obvious they were deeply connected.
Bangor Daily News