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If fast cars, short skirts and huge muscles could carry a movie to greatness, “Fast & Furious” would be at the top of the heap. Unfortunately, a well-formed plot, dialogue and good acting are generally required for an enjoyable film experience. “Fast & Furious” follows the previous three testosterone-driven vehicles in a highly predictable fashion.
Although none of the earlier films were Oscar-worthy, they each offered something for viewers. “The Fast and the Furious,” “2 Fast 2 Furious”, and “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” could at least be considered guilty pleasures, but “Fast & Furious” left a bitter taste and none of the light satisfaction of the others.
“Fast & Furious” returns with the heavily muscled and slack jawed Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), along with his tough and trusty girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez). Also returning in this unnecessary sequel is Paul Walker as Brian O’Conner, the moody FBI agent who holds a rivalry with Dominic.
When trouble befalls Letty, our two star-crossed actors are brought together like a bad jigsaw puzzle. Before we can bat an eye, they are a dynamic duo overcoming their differences in the search for a notorious drug lord. This jumbled rat race leads Dominic and Brian over the U.S.-Mexico border, where they fight for justice. Their journey concludes with a cliffhanger, which hopefully doesn’t allude to yet another fast and furious mess.
As soon as the film begins, the audience is met with a high-octane action scene, and it seems that it is headed in its usual direction. This wouldn’t have been so bad. Unfortunately, this scene spirals into a drawn-out disaster so filled with awkward stares, stutters and plot holes that it’s nearly impossible to focus on the road ahead.
Diesel has never been lauded for his acting chops, but at least in the first movie he served as a somewhat intriguing meathead. In “Fast & Furious,” he garners no empathy for his troubles and spends his screen time filling out tight shirts and staring into the distance.
Likewise, Walker has lost his charm since 2001′s “The Fast and the Furious.” He looked old and tired and acted lackadaisically, only coming alive to punch someone or press the gas pedal. It is no great mystery as to why audiences haven’t seen much from these two in years.
There are some decent car chases and shoot-em-up moments. The shiny cars and fast women are back in full force, so fans of the franchise might not be disappointed. But as far as good movies go, “Fast & Furious” doesn’t fit the bill. The plot bounces back and forth and expects viewers to understand that it was set sometime before “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.” Movies such as this are to be enjoyed like chocolate – as a treat, but not as a steady diet. “Fast & Furious” can’t even fill this requirement. It is a fast and infuriating disappointment.
Grade: D
Bangor Daily News