Movie Review: Sorority Row

Posted on Sept. 14, 2009, at 1:41 a.m.

The “greek sisterhood forever” is hardly a new slasher movie idea, but “Sorority Row” does its best to give the concept new life with the use of nudity, drinking and plenty of bloodshed.

During their senior year, five Theta Pi sisters plan payback for a frat boy who cheated on one of their own, but when their prank takes a deadly turn for one of them, they end up having to dump their scorned sister Megan (Audrina Patridge) down a deserted mine shaft.

The story jumps ahead eight months, just after the sisters have graduated, with Megan still “missing.” Down-to-earth Cassidy — played by Briana Evigan — has done her best to distance herself from Theta Pi, but sorority president Jessica (Leah Pipes) coerces her and her valedictorian boyfriend Andy (Julian Morris) to stay for the end of the year “Clothes Off, Graduates” party. While the co-eds are saying goodbye to another year with booze and dancing, someone starts sending the group text messages from Megan’s cell phone, complete with gruesome images and a video from the night of her disappearance. As the party rages on, a hooded killer finds his way into the house, and not every Theta is left standing.

This Stewart Hendler-directed remake of 1983’s “The House on Sorority Row” tries to be the thriller movie for the MySpace generation, but ends up focusing more on references to Facebook and gratuitous amounts of female frontal nudity than any actual plotlines. There isn’t even enough gore to keep the most forgiving horror fan paying attention

It’s a struggle for audiences to find any sympathy because the characters are too busy snapping at each other with stereotypical college girl snippiness. Even the lead Cassidy is too much of a caricature to handle. Hollywood royalty Rumer Willis’ nerdy Ellie is the only Theta audiences will worry about being taken out by the villain.

The highlight of the film has little to do with the actual movie: it’s all about the soundtrack. Lots of high energy partying inside of the Theta Pi sorority house equals plenty of pumped-up music that gets the viewer’s adrenaline flowing better than the action in the movie could. Schwayze and Alana D provide the hip-hop sounds expected of a greek house party while Stefy Ray and Dragonette throw in some sexier, electronic tracks.

There is a single scene that makes “Sorority Row” almost worth the price of admission, where “Star Wars” alumna Carrie Fisher, as the Theta Pi housemother, goes after the killer in the house kitchen with a shotgun. Fisher’s Mrs. Crenshaw is badass enough to make you almost want to watch the rest of the film.

I don’t know if anyone should grab “Sorority Row” on DVD when it’s released, but a few will certainly pledge to picking up the catchy soundtrack.

Grade: C-

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