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Thursday, Feb. 9, 1:34 a.m.
Columnists | Opinion

Columnist: ‘Balloon Boy’ is newest addition to child exploitation

First there was Bubble Boy, the heart-wrenching tale of the immune-deficient man who grew up in isolation, forever separated from his family, friends and true love by a layer of plastic. Then, there was Bat Boy, the half-man chiropteran who escaped from government quarantine only to find himself tragically caught between two worlds, fully belonging in neither.

And now, from Colorado comes the latest in mostly fictional, alliterative child pity cases: “Balloon Boy.”

If you didn’t catch the story, let me fill you in. Last Thursday, the world media watched as state officials frantically pursued a huge, saucer-shaped helium balloon, to which was attached a flimsy cardboard box that may or may not have contained a 6-year-old boy, aptly named Falcon. Please read the previous sentence again if needed. The story ended happily when the boy was found safe and sound in the family’s attic, apparently the one place his mom didn’t look before calling the National Guard.

I don’t know about you, but my heart feels warmed. Unfortunately, the story goes a bit deeper.

Falcon’s family are no strangers to publicity. The parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, are well-known locally for their amateur science experiments, tornado chases, UFO hunts and profanity-laced online videos starring their three sons. They gained national exposure when they appeared on the reality show “Wife Swap,” where their bizarre antics proved so popular that fans voted them back for a second appearance.

Wolf Blitzer magnified public suspicion of a hoax during an interview shortly after the Heenes’ joyful reunion. When asked by his father the obvious question of why he stayed hidden even when he heard his mother calling for him, the would-be balloonist replied, “You guys said we were doing this for the show.” The parents’ shocked, bumbling reactions — mostly blowing hot air (pun intended) — were hilarious. You can see for yourself on YouTube.

Of course this is all speculation, and the Heenes — who Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden said will face felony charges — are innocent until proven guilty. And just because Falcon may never have been in any real danger doesn’t change the fact that I’m glad he didn’t fall out of a helium balloon to his death.

However, if the balloon incident does turn out to have been an inflated hoax, it will be disturbing — and not just because of the senseless waste of police time and money. If staged, Falcon’s fake flight would be another sign of a growing trend: the exploitation of children by their parents through the mass media.

The Jackson 5, Macaulay Caulkin and a slew of others would tell you this is nothing new. The use and abuse of child actors in the entertainment industry is well-established. But in recent years, we have seen an alarming rise in the number of shows based around real-life children — not actors — dealing with trying, often outrageous situations.

Programs like “Jon & Kate Plus 8” and “18 Kids and Counting” turn the difficulties of rearing large broods into great entertainment for anonymous viewers. These families need more hours in the day as it is, and television ratings shouldn’t be their focus. Questionable parenting habits are further explored in shows like “Toddlers and Tiaras” and “I Know My Kid’s a Star,” in which viewers see often overwrought moms and dads trying to turn their 5-year-olds into beauty queens and superstars. These people need their bad parenting corrected, not validated by an appearance on a national television show.

These shows give people outlets for abusing their kids and put a premium on dysfunction. In the same way, the media enables travesties like the Heenes’ balloon ordeal. This “extreme parenting” trend has to stop. Growing up is hard enough without having to deal with parents’ half-baked quests for their 15 minutes of fame.

As for Falcon and his two brothers, I say they should find their way to their grandparents’ or other relatives’ house as soon as possible. But forget the balloon this time – a bus is much less conspicuous.