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Back in 2004, the Wilde Stein group at the University of Maine held the first gay Thanksgiving feast on campus, and its participants have been growing ever since.
Claire Folsom, a member of Wilde Stein in 2004 and a current graduate student, said the event was for gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender students who felt they could not go home or could not be themselves in front of their own family and who could feel more at home with the Thanksgiving group on campus. Wilde Stein held the event Nov. 19 this year.
“The concern was, at the time, that a lot of our students were not welcomed home or when they went home they couldn’t really be themselves because parents weren’t accepting,” Folsom said.
Folsom said the gay Thanksgiving on campus provides Thanksgiving for anyone not wishing to spend it with his or her family.
“Thanksgiving is hard anyways because it’s the first major time you go home initially as a freshman. The first time you’re home, it’s very tempting to come out to everybody. For a major holiday though, it’s really not the best idea. So we wanted to have an event where people could be themselves and still celebrate the holiday, and maybe get that part out of their system a bit before going home. Just to be accepted,” Folsom said.
Folsom remembers how small the first gay Thanksgiving turned out.
“We had maybe 20 people the first time we did it, and that was a big success. We had about as much food as is on the dessert table, but it was a big success, and it was everything we wanted it to be,” Folsom said. The dessert table at the Thanksgiving event was small and held a few items. “It went from 20 people five years ago to this. I never thought that it would get to be this big.”
One of the most successful gay Thanksgivings was last year, when a little more than 100 people attended. Jill Tremblay, a volunteer for the event, said that while the event last year was tight, its regular following has grown.
“That year it was in the Union, and it was really tight,” Tremblay said. “But even now we definitely have a lot of people bringing friends, and that’s not how it used to be.”
Every person who came to the dinner on Thursday brought food to share. Volunteers helped to carve turkeys and set up dishes of food, while students talked and joked with each other. Tremblay said, for the students, this event gives them a different type of family to be with, rather than the hostile ones they possibly go home to.
“It’s different than being with your family,” Tremblay said. “This is a different kind of family than that is.”
Before they dug into their meals, each person would go around the table to say what they are thankful for in life. Tremblay said a huge aspect students were thankful for was simply to have a place to be accepted.
“Early on we would go around and say what we were thankful for,” Tremblay said. “As a gay person, you might live all the time making decisions about how much you say or how you behave, but then there are places like this where you don’t have to think about that anymore. It feels very nice.”
Tremblay added that while anyone of any sexual orientation is allowed at the Thanksgiving, for gay people it has more meaning because straight people have a harder time understanding what gay people go through.
“It’s really hard for you to understand [if you are straight], because there’s no place where you don’t fit in. You don’t have to find your own community, because there are straight people everywhere. But because sexuality often defines who we are, and it’s such a major part of who we are, it’s nice to be able to feel like that doesn’t matter,” Tremblay said.
Third-year Wilde Stein member Kendra Chindler said the gay Thanksgiving is one of the biggest events the group does all year, and it is really just a good time.
“I think this is the biggest event we do all year. It’s not the biggest, like we put a lot of effort into Pride Week and Coming Out Week, but generally for a single night, this has the most people that come, and it’s the most fun I have all year. I love gay Thanksgiving because everyone that is involved in GLBT services shows up, and there’s good food. So what’s not to love?” Chindler said.
Tremblay said that no matter if people come for the food or the acceptance, it is nice to see more and more people going to the gay Thanksgiving.
“It’s exciting to see the difference in the attitude on campus. It’s just
feeling more and more open, and people are more out and accepting. And we have a lot more allies who aren’t gay, but they are really cool and they come to meetings or they participate in functions like this because they are really good friends and are very comfortable with being involved,” Tremblay said.
Folsom knows the event will continue.
“It means so many different things to so many people,” Folsom said. “It’s a time where you can celebrate a holiday even if you can’t with your own family.”
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