Beard Police: Wisdom in Keith Shorey’s whiskers

Posted on Jan. 21, 2010, at 12:06 a.m.

Keith Shorey talks about his beard with the tone and cadence of a facial hair veteran, and for good reason: He’s been growing one for 36 years — two thirds of his life. He says his beard, red with a wild streak of white down the middle, has come to define him.

“It’s a signature of me, so to speak,” he said with a chuckle. “When somebody looks at you, especially with a red beard like mine, they’ll always pick up on that.”

Shorey is the night custodian in Memorial Union, a post he’s held for six years. He swivels casually in his chair while we talk and waxes poetic about facial hair.

“A beard should be an expression, I think, of what you’re comfortable in and who you see yourself as,” he said. “It’s hard to say what other people think of it, but it really doesn’t matter to people with beards.”

The custodian started growing his facial hair as early as he could. By age 19, he had a full beard. He has never shaved since and rarely trims.

“I started shaving and I said, ‘That’s not for me,’” he said.

For Shorey, beards are a matter of serious contemplation. He had things to say about everything from the frequency of beards to their utility. No subject was free from his whiskered perspective.

Many with beards have at least one person in their life who regularly attempts to coax a razor into their hand and shaving cream onto their face. Shorey said it never happens to him.

“They wouldn’t recognize me without it,” he said.

Even his wife loves his beard. “She gets quite upset if anybody even talks about me shaving. She loves it.”

Whether they love it or just want to touch it — Shorey says elderly ladies are always surprised by how soft it is — everybody thinks something about his beard.

“It’s strange because people will kind of look at your guidance,” he said. “Especially as more white has gotten into my beard. I don’t know why that is.”

Shorey said he’s seen an increase in the number of young men sporting beards since he’s been at the university — or at least attempting to grow beards. He said maybe it’s because he’s set such a good example.

The problem with some young men today, he said, is that they start growing beards and then give up right away.

“You don’t see the longevity to just let it be,” he said.

His beard has always been both fun and useful, Shorey said. He has used it to shape his face to the way he likes it and used it when he was younger to hide a double chin. He’s quick to point out the utility of facial hair.

“You can do a lot with a beard to change your appearance,” he said.

Though the beard has been a boon for Shorey in his own life, he doesn’t think it’s for everyone.

“Not everybody can carry a beard. It takes a lot of responsibility,” he said.

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