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Have you ever been the sober person at a party, and the only reason you were there was because a friend needed a ride home? If so, thank you. Who knows exactly what you may have prevented.
According to University of Maine Public Safety, many sexual assault cases in college come from people who drink too much at parties. They booze all night until they black out, then can’t remember a thing when they wake up next to a complete stranger the next day. While some say this is just a part of the college experience, in the eyes of the law, this could very well be considered rape. These all-too-common occurrences can cause lifetimes of pain for victims.
I understand the mindset of some guys, who go to bars and try to hit on as many beautiful, drunk women as they can in hopes that one is willing to spend the night, without once giving thought to the ramifications. This way of thinking is out of touch with reality and needs to stop.
A girl waking up in a place she doesn’t want to be with a person she’s not familiar with can have a bad ending for that couple. This is how a lot of sexual assault scenarios in college play out. It is a form of rape, and the cases can leave perpetrators pleading for their freedom in a court of law.
It’s no laughing matter, and it’s not like what you see in the movies. The process victims and the accused have to go through is long and, a lot of the time, embarrassing. During administration of a rape kit, every article of clothing is confiscated by law enforcement officers. Every speck of dirt and every drop of anything can be evidence. The entire process could take months.
If you end up being accused of something like this, not only must you deal with the trauma and guilt of the rape itself, but also the police questioning you and your friends and taking your clothes as evidence. What you thought was going to be a night you would later brag about to your friends has turned into an experience that could ruin two lives.
What it comes down to is having someone responsible at the party. As I get older, the people hanging around me get younger and younger. They don’t know as much and are more apt to get in trouble. I find it’s my duty to make sure people get home safe, don’t do anything stupid and end up where they need to end up.
Designated drivers can be more than that. They can stop you from getting sloppy and “playfully harassing” people who don’t want the attention. And when it comes to bringing someone home, they can judge whether or not it is the best idea. You might think they are “blocking,” but they are actually making sure you don’t make a huge mistake and hurt someone.
If women go out as a group, they should plan on going home in a group. We all know girls just want to have fun, but no girl wants to have fun to the point of potential danger. I’ve seen many fights between girls because one of their friends wanted to stay behind with a guy they just met. It’s not a pretty sight.
Friends are meant to look out for each other. You don’t have to be a nagging parent, but adding your two cents every now and then could stop a lot of bad things from happening.
Your friends may hate you for an hour or two, but in the morning, when they are hung over beyond recognition, they’ll be thanking you for having their back the night before. They always do.
Joe Mercurio is a senior journalism student.
Bangor Daily News