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GLBT supporters came out to share thoughts on how to be an ally and hear a local politician speak Tuesday night, a part of Coming Out Week at the University of Maine.
Emily Cain, D-Orono, the incumbent District 19 representative up for re-election to the Maine State House of Representatives, spoke at the event.
Currently a UMaine graduate student, Cain has been a member of the university’s GLBT Council since 2004. The GLBT Council is a group of faculty, students and staff organized to assist and offer support to others and to the Rainbow Resource Center. The Rainbow Resource Center is a safe environment for the GLBT community on campus.
Cain described her motivation for joining the council as the result of her early exposure to the GLBT community.
“It was normal for me and I didn’t know it wasn’t normal for everyone else,” she said. “I knew what a commitment ceremony was and a marriage was at a young age.”
“I was raised in a household of allies,” Cain said. “Part of being an ally was realizing everybody wasn’t as lucky as me to be raised [in a supportive home].”
In the 1980s, Cain’s mother heard of the death of a dear friend from her school days. His obituary ran in the newspaper and was uncomfortably bare. Cain said she understood at the time why her mother was upset — Bill, a gay man, had died in San Francisco from AIDS and his parents did not wish to be embarrassed by publishing this fact in his obituary.
“I don’t think I realized the impact of that moment on my life,” Cain said.
In high school, Cain was invited to join a group in an alliance between gay and straight students.
“We didn’t even talk about it,” Cain said, “We just hung out like normal.”
At UMaine, Cain discovered “there’s no one way to be an ally. We need allies to look like everybody. We need a network.”
“It takes those of us who do get it to reach out to those who want to,” Cain said. “Most people want to be tolerant and, when given the opportunity, will be tolerant. ‘Love me for who I am and support me that way.’”
Cain realized her upbringing had been different from others when she attended UMaine as an undergraduate student. She spent three of her undergraduate years as a resident assistant.
Cain said it took her years to fully understand the role of an ally and how to effectively fill that role.
“I don’t have to try to be an ally every day,” Cain said, explaining that it comes naturally to her now.
She said Maine is one of the only states with a nondiscrimination act, explaining that in some states people can be fired for being gay.
Cain said Maine’s laws contain the word marriage approximately 400 times.
“Marriage deals with rights and responsibilities,” she said. For a same sex couple married in another state she said “it takes a stack of legal documents to show a person loves another.”
“What motivates me as an ally is that I do see progress — and that’s what keeps me going,” Cain said. “I’m inspired by this week. I’m inspired by the rainbow flag on the mall.”
Meghan Genovese, a fourth-year zoology student and president of Wilde Stein, said UMaine’s organization Wilde Stein Alliance for Sexual Diversity came up with the idea of asking Cain to speak during Coming Out Week because she is an outspoken supporter of the GLBT community.
“We thought she was a good representative as an ally to come give her perspective,” Genovese said. “She gave us a lot of ideas. Her experiences can help us grow. I was very pleased with [her speech].”
Evan McDuff, a second-year botany student and treasurer of Wilde Stein, said Cain’s speech was “informative and inspiring.”
“I’m proud to be in her district. It’s comforting to know there are politicians that are so supportive,” he said.
“Emily Cain had a great message and a great set of pumps. She broadens the aspect of being an ally,” said third-year psychology student Shirley Ladd.
Cain hopes to use her role as a state representative to be a proud ally for the entire state of Maine.
“Everybody has to find their own way to be an ally,” she said. “There’s no ‘one size fits all.’ There’s no formula or model I can offer.”
Bangor Daily News