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The Sexpert by Sarah Hinman
It’s Thursday night, you’ve brought home a hot hookup from the Bear Brew and things are getting steamy in bed. Just as things are really getting heated, you realize your partner was one step ahead of you as they reach orgasm, leaving you high and dry.
Once they have finished and drifted off into a post-orgasm sleep, you might be left wondering if you will get anything in return. You put in the work — don’t you deserve an orgasm too? Or at least a paid cab ride home?
If you are ever left in a situation where your partner had an orgasm but you did not, I firmly believe that you should get something in return. A sexual encounter can just be heavy kissing and fondling, but if you or your partner are going to be selfish enough to have an orgasm and leave the other person unsatisfied, then at least throw in a little something extra so the night isn’t a total loss.
Here is my guide to what you deserve, based on the amount of effort put into the evening of fun:
You have sex, your partner orgasms and you do not
As much as I hate to say it, this situation mostly happens to girls. You have sex with a guy, he comes, you don’t — end of the hook-up. Listen, ladies — you are participating in the sex as much as he is, so why should he be the only one to orgasm?
If he doesn’t give you an orgasm, here is what I believe you should be entitled to: Breakfast either bought or made, money for a cab or gas to get home and some clothes so you don’t have to do the walk of shame in last night’s outfit. If the situation is reversed, then the guy is entitled to the first two options and a booty call at a later date.
Your partner goes down on you but it’s not good enough to make you come
The person at least gets an “A” for effort because they attempted oral sex. Even though their skills weren’t quite enough, they gave it the college try. In this case, they only owe you something small, like any one of the above options, but not all three. You can also offer to teach them what feels good and how you like it, and then have them try again.
Sex is promised, but fails to follow through
Who hasn’t had this happen? You arrange for a booty call later on, expecting a “friend” to come by for a night, or you have been getting sexts from your partner about an evening of fun. But for one reason or another, the plans fall through and you are left contemplating which free porn site will help you alleviate the frustration.
If this is the case I believe the person who bailed owes you two things: some fantasy material to help get you through — what would have happened if they had been there — and a rain check. To leave someone hanging like that and not even reschedule is just plain rude.
You’re having sex or getting oral but are too drunk to orgasm
If this is the case, then it is your fault you can’t come and your partner owes you nothing. They are putting in the time and effort, but you just aren’t delivering results. You owe them an orgasm. Next time, don’t have so many vodka tonics.
Bangor Daily News