Every election year I lose interest in following the news. Why? Because Mitt Romney’s rogue booger or Sarah Palin’s man shoulders steal the front page of nearly any newspaper in the country. As the year goes on it gets even worse, because we lose those lovable jesters who never stood a chance. Nothing made me laugh quite as hard as Michele Bachmann in a shoulder-padded pantsuit, “championing” the American family. It’s too bad we lost her as a source of wholesome family entertainment in January. Since Bachmann and Herman Cain dropped out, I’ve been impatiently waiting for the national conventions. Now that they’re over, I am anything but disappointed. In short, both conventions were hilarious. At the same time, I’ve never been more convinced that our government is gridlocked in partisanship and name-calling. At the end of a two-week-long grandstand on global television, both parties ought to be proud to besaturated in each other’s excrement.
Both candidates did their best to convince Americans they ought to be, or remain, president. For Romney that meant focusing on the good old days when starting a shoe business might have been a good idea. Other talking points included how nice of a childhood he had, how willfully ignorant President Barack Obama is and has remained and how we ought to drill the living daylight out of the Atlantic Ocean to find oil and create jobs. While I make no secret of supporting the handsome, stylish President Obama, I will concede that Romney’s speech at the Republican National Convention was likely very inspiring to privileged white men who own failing tobacco plantations. Honestly, I don’t feel I’ve had the chance to support Mitt Romney because I’m just not his kind of girl. His speech and campaign say almost nothing about young, educated students, unless they want to start or run a business. As far as I’m concerned, the most I can identify with ol’ buddy Mitt on is that we both went to college for a B.A. in English. Even that little commonality was snuffed out by Romney several months ago when he said to youngsters, “Major in something more reliable than English.” Of course Romney didn’t have to worry about having a “reliable” education, because he had a fat inheritance from his late father — a former governor of Michigan who was filthy stinking rich. In addition to not being stimulated by Romney’s speech, I was even less engaged due to the dull “booing” from the crowd whenever Romney brought up President Obama. Let’s stay positive, Mitt. Just look at how well the 2002 Olympics turned out under your watchful eye.
On the other hand, I felt personally courted by Barack Obama when he opened his speech saying this: “I know campaigns can seem small, even silly sometimes. Trivial things become big distractions. … The truth is buried under an avalanche of money and advertising. If you’re sick of hearing me say I approve this message, believe me, so am I.”
“That’s me,” I thought. “I’m sick of all this crap.”
My recognition and empathy endured through the president’s speech when he talked about personally getting his hands dirty “doing the right thing,” in an impoverished Chicago, and getting very bright lower class individuals the tools they need to succeed. I know I’m young and probably foolish, but I think killing Osama bin Laden is a more valid achievement than keeping alive the tradition of Olympic curling. I also feel that Obama better assessed the gravity of the state of our nation than did his challenger.
When it comes right down to it, I feel like my support for Obama was reflected in the signs nearly everyone in the audience held at the Democratic National Convention. They said “Forward,” and I think that’s where we ought to be going. I’m vaguely confident that Obama will maybe head there at a casual pace, eventually. Even if we don’t like Mittens or Barack, we don’t have any other realistic options at this point. I haven’t seen Dennis Kucinich since Groundhog Day.