“If they’re going to get offended, take these little f—— out there right now,” Moreno joked.
He talked about the pains of aging, saying, “I used to plan the party, now I plan the recovery.” He also talked about his sexual performance, putting it in theatrical terms by saying, “I’m not a blockbuster: I go straight to DVD.”
Next was Latham, who joked about Tim Tebow, “Modern Warfare” and his lazy eye, saying, “You know how many bald guys wish they had a lazy eye and this hair when the lights go out?”
Referring to the photo of him on the screen at the back of the stage, Robles said, “You know you let yourself go when you look like a different race.” He spoke about Jehovah’s Witnesses, saying they “believe 140,000 people are going to make it to heaven … there’s 10 million of them.”
He also mentioned his use of jokes that centered around molestation, and a negative reaction from an audience member, who was molested, compelled him to respond, saying, “I’m sorry, it’s a touchy subject. Did I rub you the wrong way?”
The last two opening comedians were San Juan and Gutierrez. Referring to his ethnicity, San Juan said, “Filipinos look like stoned Mexicans.” Gutierrez quipped, “Being fat’s an epidemic; I’m infected.”
After a 20-minute intermission, the lights went down as a intro video was shown that documented Iglesias’ career highlights, including his stint as a cast member of the Nickelodeon show “All That” and his appearances as a comic on late-night television.
After Iglesias, whose 2007 comedy special “Hot and Fluffy” sold over 3 million copies, took to the stage and the applause died down, he didn’t launch directly into his material. He instead took some time to list disclaimers. He echoed the numerous signs that said audience members were not to take pictures, and he said his set would consist of one hour of brand new material that he was testing for later appearances. He added his performance might not be as smooth as his specials because of the new jokes and that he might go over the hour he promised.
Iglesias opened with a story about an experience he had while performing at a comedy club in California. Backstage, he ran into two intimidating men who approached him, but when one of them spoke, his voice was effeminate, as was conveyed by Iglesias’ impression. When the man’s shy friend spoke up, he said in a deep voice that Iglesias was “big in the bear community,” referring to the homosexual subculture, and asked for a hug.
Referring to the questions he gets about hugging the gay men, Iglesias said, “A minute ago, I thought they were killers and now they’re cuddlers.” He also affirmed he has no prejudice against homosexuals, saying, “Whatever you do with your body is up to you. I have friends who go to the gym and I hang out with them.”
He then talked about a “corporate gig” he and Moreno did in California when he was invited to eat at a Mexican restaurant following the show. Moreno opted not to go with Iglesias. Later that night, however, when Iglesias returned to his hotel room, it was to his surprise that Moreno was not there. At about 6 a.m., Iglesias heard a knock on the door and realized it was Moreno, who became so intoxicated that he urinated in his pants and broke his iPhone, saying, “I killed Siri.”
Iglesias said he took Moreno to get a new iPhone. When asked whether they wanted a black or white one, Iglesias wondered, “Can you imagine if a black iPhone was a ‘black iPhone?’” He gave an example of what he meant by mocking an interaction between a “black iPhone” and its user, saying, “‘Siri, what’s the weather?’” In a stereotypical voice, Iglesias said, “Why don’t you stick your head out the window?”
Between jokes, Iglesias heard a candy wrapper in the audience and paused to ask the person what it was. The surprised audience member didn’t respond, to which Iglesias said, “I’m not TV, I’m right here,” adding, “That wrapper crumple, that’s my mating call.”
Iglesias spent a lot of time talking about his stepson Frankie and the struggles he has with being his father figure, citing problems with getting him to wear deodorant. Iglesias’ solution was to place deodorant around the house, and when Iglesias caught him not wearing it, he would point to it and make Frankie put some on.
Frankie would lie about wearing deodorant, but Iglesias saw through his dishonesty.
“The only time a kid can lie is if he’s evil: ‘The dog was dead when I found him, father.’”
Iglesias said that embarrassment is the “biggest weapon you have as a parent that’s legal.” He then launched into a story about a prank he pulled on his stepson. Iglesias changed his stepson’s alarm clock to make him think he was late for school, so he rushed to get dressed and got in the car with Iglesias, even though it was extremely early in the day for school to be started.
After Iglesias dropped him off, Frankie realized what was happening and called Iglesias for a ride back home — calls that Iglesias ignored. After his girlfriend called him, Iglesias picked Frankie up and brought him home, but the drama didn’t end there. Students at Frankie’s school found out about the incident and he was teased about it. He came home crying to Iglesias, to which he responded, “Put on deodorant.”
Iglesias also mentioned a time when his girlfriend accused him of drunk-texting his stepson. When Iglesias denied her claim, she showed him a text Iglesias sent Frankie early in the morning that read, “Put on deodorant, f—er.”
After telling stories about making an old Asian lady laugh so hard that she hit her head, and a show he did for a Saudi Arabian prince, Iglesias talked extensively about his role in the movie “Magic Mike” as Tobias, a strip-club disk jockey, and the experiences he had on set.
For a club scene, director Steven Soderbergh wanted “energy” from Iglesias, and after one take, Soderbergh approached him and said, “That’s what the hell I’m talking about, right there.” At the premiere of the movie, however, Iglesias said of the scene, “In the background in the corner … you don’t see DJ equipment because it’s behind the table; you just see a fat guy having the time of his life,” implying that he appeared to be playing with himself instead of deejaying.
After going through his new material, he took questions and requests from the crowd. One audience member, Nick, asked Iglesias to tell the “basket story.” Iglesias said he has a history with that bit, saying he tried to get it on both of his DVDs and in televised performances, but it was too inappropriate. The story, a performance of which can be found on Iglesias’ YouTube channel, is about a prank that Iglesias and Moreno pulled on an African-American comedian friend of theirs that involved creating a “racist gift basket.”
Iglesias mentioned that it was a big deal for him to be at UMaine because, early in his career, his promoters limited him to venues in the southwestern United States. It was a bigger deal for the Collins Center for the Arts ticket holders, who got to see almost two hours — nearly twice as long as Iglesias said he would perform — of brand new material from one of the country’s biggest comedians, in every sense of the word.