There are some who choose to snuggle up with a cup of hot cocoa and open their Twitter or Snapchat. There are others who venture outside their homes to see it for themselves. But over the recent four-day weekend, we at UMaine were all refreshed with one of winter’s greatest pastimes: college snow day sports. My top five are as follows:
5) Anything That Incorporates Actual Winter Sports
We’ve all seen that guy in our apartment complex driving his snowmobile around or actually strapping on skis and skiing down a snowbank. Listen, you made the list, dude. Congratulations. If we see you doing that, we’re not going to look away. We’re not going to not cheer, but that’s what Sugarloaf is for. That’s what Northern Maine is for. Take your sled up there and let us drunkenly whitewash each other in peace.
4) The Barely-Clothed Snow Jump
Shedding every allowable article of clothing while still being tweetable, taking two steps outside your front door, jumping in the snow and then running back inside is a sport much in the same way that Nascar is a sport. To the untrained eye, it seems to require little skill. Only those who understand it are able to observe the nuances that make it so great. One of the more popular snow day sports as virtually anyone can do it. All you need is a body, a front door and a foot or more of powder.
3) The Shotgun Snow-Fall
This one actually requires no skill. You simply gather three or more friends, shotgun a beer (Bud Light is standard) and then do a trust fall into a snowbank that’s already situated directly behind you. However, the shotgun snow-fall is an excellent way to slip on your bikini or bathing suit and garner public opinion on how your spring break body is coming along. Only two weeks, folks.
2. The Sled Tow
People see you and they want to be you when you’re on a plastic toboggan being towed by a Jeep. One of the rarest ones you’ll see — sort of the curling of snow day sports, if you will. Driver and sledder have to be perfectly in sync like horse and jockey. Parked cars and snowbanks are mere bumpers to the bowling ball that is a sophomore nursing major in a full snowsuit yelling “Faster!”
1. The Porch Jump
The porch jump is an age-old classic that requires little skill but infinite courage. If the activities on this list are sports, then Fireball has to be their steroid. Lance Armstrong benefited as much from HGH as your roommate Steve benefits from downing a nip of Fireball (a la Gronk on the duck boats) before cannonballing into a snowbank. It’s a true crowd pleaser that jumpers can really make their own. Of the snow day sports, the porch jump undisputedly provides the best platform for competition: Extra points for style. Loser pays medical expenses.