Welcome back guys, it has been too long. I considered not including things from Thanksgiving break as they are not very topical, but some were too good to omit. Here are the best of each day.
11/24:
Infamous ‘critical_stinker’ posted “I DON’T KNOW WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS BUT IT’S TIME TO MOVE THE FROZEN TURKEY straight into a pot of hot oil.” To which ‘fish_wizard_daily’ replied “I CAST FIREBALL !! !! !! !!” Totally do not do this.
11/25:
Then there was this masterpiece: “Call my suitcase a turkey the way I put my stuff-in, my girl is like Nerf cause it’s her or it’s nothin… I’m not a stumbling mushroom, I’m never trippin, just pissed my pants that’s how you know I stay drippin OOOOOOOHHH.” Someone sign this prodigy already.
11/26:
“FINALLY GOING HOME FOR BREAK OMFG F*CK ORONO.” I see a lot of Orono hate on here, good thing it is justified.
11/27:
The user ‘tinsel’ said, “Maybe what I really need this holiday season is a homoerotic friendship and ten million dollars.” Should you not be eating with your family?
11/28:
“I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving eating yummy food and getting as fat as me :3” Thank you ‘_deer’, that is the sweetest thing I have ever seen on this app.
I know I said only the best from each day, but I could not help myself. “Ik the characters on stranger things stink REAL BAD. like ik yall don’t have time to shower.” They have a point. Also, I am proud of everyone for not spoiling the new season yet.
11/29:
A photo of Spongebob in a hallway from the game “Silent Hill” was captioned “How it feels being on campus before everyone else gets here:” The user ‘bouncyball’ commented “thank you umaine_paperclip.” OP replied “You are welcome @bouncyball.” So cute.
I am so sorry, I lied again. “I don’t need 30% off a TV I need oil executives to be punished for their crimes.” What happened to Black Friday BTW?
Speaking of, “these stores be pissing me tf off THE F*CK U MEAN BLACK FRIDAY DEALS 15% OFF??? At this point might as well not give out any discounts.” Tell me about it.
11/30:
Alright, now we’re back to school. “TICKETS FOR UNH *SS BEATING ACQUIRED WHILE PLANE WAS TAKING OFF WHAT THE F*CK IS A WILDCAT????” This did not pan out well.
One user posted “sorry queen i have crocs on and its raining… i needed the spot.” They caught us up to speed an hour later saying “update she is NOT happy.” What ever happened to context clues?
Something big happened on this day, and I am so honored to be able to cover it. “I love how the burrito thrower in the union got up to help when told off #keepmenaccountable.” Another user said “I got hit by a burrito in the union,” followed by ‘kidgoku’ posting “I come back to this app after a couple hours and apparently there’s some jackass who threw a burrito at someone?!”
And finally, “I’m so sorry to everyone who’s been hit by my burrito it was a missinput.” What does that mean? Can we get an eyewitness account of this?
12/3:
“Do you guys ever get paranoid that people on campus all just know you but for something really weird.” I love watching people discover mental illness.
“Is a week and a half enough time to lock in for finals.” God I hope so.
Every so often I feel so heard by these people, and this was one of those times. “I miss TikTok during covid.” There are no words to describe this feeling.
“I am going to steal a salt shaker from York dining and salt the damn sidewalks myself.” Not all heroes wear capes.
12/6:
Before the second game of the series against UNH, an anonymous user posted “I will defend my nation UMAINE. I will destroy my vocal cords. I will fill the alfond. I will hate crime UNH. UNH is responsible for my parents divorce. UNH killed Betty White. UNH is responsible for hurricane Katrina. UNH IS RONALD REAGAN.” Let it all out.
“Last lab next week and I’m tweaking because that means no more lab crush.” Most people celebrate the last lab, but I respect the game. Kindly, ‘fish_wizard_daily’ recommended “Make your move!!”
And last but not least, “Never forget!” The burrito, of course.
