The anticipation for Taylor Swift’s 12th album posed a major question among listeners: Can she do it with an unbroken heart? Can an artist most known for her songs about tumultuous relationships still appease listeners now that she found Mr. Right?
The Life of a Showgirl album was announced shortly after Swift’s engagement to NFL tight end Travis Kelce. The teasers alone seemed creative and I was curious to hear what she had to share about the entertainment industry. “The Lucky One,” which Swift released back in 2012, did a fantastic job of explaining how stardom has its shortcomings.
I am here to offer an honest review of every song on The Life of a Showgirl, as someone who is neither a die-hard Swiftie nor a Taylor hater.
The Fate of Ophelia: 7/10
A strong start, mainly due to the satisfying beat and interesting lyrics. As much as I loved this song as the opener, it misled me to think that every subsequent song would also be a hit. Still, “The Fate of Ophelia” in itself was great. I appreciated the reference to Ophelia in ‘Hamlet’ as a metaphor for modern struggles in love. As much as I see this becoming incredibly popular over time, I had to knock off a few points for some lame lyrics, particularly “Pledge allegiance to your hands, your team, your vibes.” What?
Elizabeth Taylor: 4/10
I honestly don’t have much to say about this one. It was difficult to absorb the lyrics because the melody wasn’t great. The chorus reminded me of her Reputation album. Regardless, the message was not relatable to the average person. I do appreciate that the song explicitly surrounds an old Hollywood showgirl. The concept was cool but I think she should have seized the opportunity to make it more interesting through storytelling, like with “Dorothea” in 2020.
Opalite: 8/10
Fantastic, fun, cute. I think “Opalite” is my favorite because it suits her style so well. I listened to the whole album at once and this one in particular had a great energy to it. My only criticism is Swift’s use of the term “onyx night.” I am all for niche references, but artists like Phoebe Bridgers use them more artfully. It just felt out of place. The best part of the song is around minute three when the harmonies build up before falling back into the chorus.
Father Figure: 5/10
An interesting take on the 1987 George Michaels hit. I like the message and tune behind it.
The song was meaningful, clear and fitting for the album. That said, I wasn’t amazed. It’s one of those songs I wouldn’t skip if it came on naturally, but I also wouldn’t go out of my way to hear it.
Eldest Daughter: 4/10
Hard for me to enjoy but not terrible. I think fans had high expectations for this track when the names were released. The song, despite being a ballad, was filled with internet slang. I heard critiques that Swift was trying too hard to appeal to the younger generation and sound cool. I perceived it more as her making a point that she doesn’t fit into that world, clear through her awkward application of certain phrases. Intentional or not, it made the song less enjoyable.
Ruin The Friendship: 8/10
I immediately liked “Ruin The Friendship.” It is so reminiscent of her older style that many of us grew up listening to. It’s cool to listen to her sing about high school, a time before major fame. This song manages to express heavy emotion while maintaining a more upbeat and almost youthful sound. It has the same feel as “Fifteen” but comes from a more mature perspective. It’s cool that she mentions her best friend, Abigail, in both songs.
Actually Romantic: 6/10
The song itself is fine. Much like the other ones, it has a nice tune. The lyrics are only okay. It’s definitely an interesting take on criticism, reaching beyond her messages from “Shake It Off” and “You Need To Calm Down.” Swift claims to be flattered by the hate from, who fans hypothesize, is musician Charli XCX. One particular line made me cringe
“She may have taken inspiration from “My Kink is Karma” by Chappell Roan for the concept.
Wi$h Li$t: 2/10
Immediately no. It’s annoying. This track sounds like Halsey or Alessia Cara in the worst way possible. Too many lyrics at once that seem only to name things. I don’t know what else to say. My least favorite on the album because it feels so insignificant.
Wood: 7/10
Controversial opinion: I kind of like this song… Obviously, the sexual nature of it is very out of character for Swift but maybe that’s okay. Yes, it’s a little much. Yes, it’s tacky. But these truths don’t make it any less fun of a listen. She might not be able to get away with shamelessly X-rated songs in the same way Sabrina Carpenter does, but it’s catchy!
CANCELLED!: 3/10
Only just barely better than Wi$h Li$t. The beat reminds me a bit of “Are You Ready For It.” I think Swift intended the song would come off edgier than it did. It’s simply not as powerful as she probably hoped it’d be. The idea of internet cancelling being something extreme just doesn’t resonate with the average person. The lyrics are so dramatic to the point where it doesn’t fit the true theme of the song, which is facing scandal as a famous person.
Honey: 7/10
This song is sweet. I’ll admit certain lyrics are a little clunky but it’s not a major detriment. “Honey” lacks flow in certain areas but that doesn’t impact the message. Terms of endearment like “honey” and “sweetheart” being used condescendingly feels both accurate to real life and also like uncharted territory. I’ve never heard it depicted in music, so the concept might be original.
The Life of a Showgirl: 8/10
Perfectly theatrical. I wasn’t sure how Swift and Sabrina Carpenter would sound together. Their voices are completely different so harmony seemed difficult to achieve. I ended up liking them together. This song is the perfect conclusion to the album. It feels full circle and makes sense as the title track. We get to see the Life of a Showgirl from the perspective of both performers. The wrap up was cool with Swift and Carpenter wishing the audience a good night just as they would in concert.
My final thought is just that we should let it grow on us. I appreciate all of these songs a little more with every listen, besides the two that I immediately skip.
