Hey guys, so I know we are probably going to war or whatever, but YikYak Beat is still going strong. I think we all deserve a little break from the horrors. The bright side is that if I am drafted I will not have to get a job, therefore I can start saying anything I want on here. So buckle up, my digital footprint is about to get freaky.
2/22:
Okay so this one was not on the UMaine YikYak but hear me out: “You say sex and gender are the same thing? But I don’t recall having gender with your mom last night.” Anyways, that is all for today.
2/24:
“Yiktok… a demoRAT “safe space” to whine about PRONOUNCE,” said mewuu. My pronouns are jiːk/jæk.
User ‘york.goundhog’ is fed up with YikYak. “You people can’t say ‘what is happening at __’ without any other context.” Posted the exact same minute was ‘umaine_chronicals’ asking “What’s going on at dTAV??!” Life is so beautiful.
Anyway let us move on. “Yo what just happened at alltown.” Nevermind.
“DO NOT TAP ON THE GLASS AT THE BOY AQUARIUM. It scares the boy fish,” exclaimed ‘critical_stinker.’ Someone hit my line on what a boy aquarium is; asking for a friend.
“Been thinking of getting into yellow recently,” said ‘york.groundhog.’ An admirable aspiration, I am actually trying to go pro in orange.
“We all lowkey lost the plot to life back in 2020.” Speak for yourself, I am now the creator of YikYak Beat… yeah, no, you’re right. Every week they force me to write these.
2/25:
“Deadass just slipped in the shower while i was shaving and my razor slit my tip off.” Someone commented “dw it grows back.” Life hack: just like hair it grows back even longer. Someone else asked “Wtf are you shaving,” to which OP replied “My body, i’m gay.” I know this is a lie because engineers never shower.
“Picking crusties off fresh piercings >>>.” :/
2/27:
“In the same way that some people have phantom pains i have phantom pleasures.” I think that is just called being happy??
“I miss when I [w]as off the rocker. i’m too happy for that sh*t.” Friendly reminder that your name is ‘emmafeet25.’ Not judging, it is just a thought.
Speaking of ‘emmafeet25;’ “need some opinions: how soon is too soon to drop the L bomb.” Pro tip: pull up in a Subaru towing a UHaul. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.
“Yall ever be not paying attention in class and you look up and they’re explaining triangular trade routes. Crazy shit,” said ‘mmmmrealy,’ to which ‘kiwibotstan’ commented “Omg was this ant 102 lmao.” So, actually, ants are too small to captain ships but good try!
“What area has the highest spawn rates for girlfriends.” One user suggested “the highschool.” Unfortunately OP “can’t go within 300 yards :(.”
“E. coli? I hardly know’er!” Thank you ‘critical_stinker.’ Unfortunately, that does not work but we love you despite it.
2/28:
About one week ago someone asked “How soon do we think the U.S. will go to war with Iran?” Then, today, ‘light_pink_eggplant’ reposted this Yak with a very tired looking emoji. An image worth a thousand words, which is good for the engineers because that would be way too many words for them.
“Let’s play another round of my favorite game: is it an absurd amount of discharge or did i just start my period !!!” Or perhaps a different game?
“I love the train.” Like the one we ran on your mom last night?
“Cheeseburgr.” Hello?
“The label for my Yak group match is karaoke but somehow the conversation went straight to unprotected freaking and now no one is saying anything :(.” Funny story: I am in that group match. Guess who suggested such a topic ;). Anyway, tune in next week for more of me stealing other peoples’ jokes and passing them off as my own!
