It’s only been three years since “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” made its debut in theatres and somehow we already have a sequel. Not that anyone oughta be too surprised considering Illumination Animation’s reputation for pumping out films like Ford pumps out pickup trucks. Now that isn’t to say that it’s a bad thing, after all the first movie made its $100 million budget back and then some so it’s not like general audiences are particularly picky and choosy when it comes to quality. Case in point, “The Super Mario Galaxy Movie.” A movie that I think should really make us think about whether or not a good-looking movie really means a good movie. Throughout its 98 minute runtime the average viewer can be subjected to only the best half-plotlines, odd character inclusions and unsatisfying payoffs.
Like most movies that Illumination makes, you can jump in at any time and still follow the plot pretty well. They repeat the stakes and the plot to the viewer every chance they get. You know, on the off chance that you checked out somewhere between the previews and the 45 minute mark. Either way, let me give you a quick rundown.
Princess Rosalina, as portrayed by Brie Larson, is kidnapped by Bowser Jr in order to power a giant planet-destroying super weapon he built to impress his father, Bowser (still played by Jack Black). One of her adopted ‘children,’ Lumas, goes to the Mushroom Kingdom to alert Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), who brings Toad (Keegan-Michael Key) with her on a galaxy-trotting adventure to save Rosalina. At the same time, Mario and Luigi (voiced by Chris Pratt and Charlie Day), along with the help of Yoshi the green dinosaur, fend off an attack by Bowser Jr from Peach’s Castle as he attempts to rescue Bowser who was shrunk in the last movie and was being held in the castle. The trio escape with Bowser, who agrees to help them on their journey but who eventually is found by his son and turns bad again. The group eventually meets back up with the Princess and Toad, who have recruited the aid of a starship desperado named Fox McCloud (voiced by Glen Powell of all people), who helps the group locate Rosalina, who is being held on Planet Bowser. This leads to the climactic final battle, Princess Rosalina is saved, Bowser and his son are defeated by the plumber bros and everyone lives happily ever after.
Now if that seemed a little all over the place, that’s because it was. This is not a movie where you go in with a clear and thoughtful head. There are plot points that go nowhere in this film, plot points that start out of nowhere. Like the relationship between Princess Peach and Mario just sort of happens without any attempt made by either of the two. Outside of one or maybe two interactions, that dynamic isn’t naturally explored until later in the climax when Peach just kisses Mario on the cheek for no reason at all.
Another plot point that felt unsatisfying was Bowser. Bowser presented a fantastic opportunity to tell a redemption story, where he really tries to turn a new leaf. His son returns and he’s still running on the fumes of Bowser’s evil bad parenting. He wants to impress his father, his idol, with all the evil he’s been up to in the recent years, but Bowser has been making friends with his enemies. Although he is happy to see his son again, he’s conflicted by the prospect of having to betray his new friends and in the end he learns to do the right thing and some such. But no, Bowser just turns evil again. Why? Well I certainly have my theories. Maybe they just wanted an excuse to show Dry Bowser or maybe Nintendo cannot fathom making Bowser anything other than a villain. Who’s to say? Only Shuntaro Furukawa knows for sure and I doubt he’ll be spilling the beans any time soon.
Lastly I wanna touch on the inclusion of Fox McCloud. Now I can safely say, I have played the Starfox games for myself. They’re fine enough. Was I expecting to see that freak in glorious HD on the big screen? No I wasn’t and I doubt anyone else was too. His inclusion harkens back to the first film’s inclusion of Donkey Kong, which is fine. No one is saying that Nintendo can’t do whatever they want and put whoever they want in their movie, but when the first film was followed up with a new Donkey Kong game and now we’re showing Fox Mc-Fricking-Cloud off and having him be a big part of the movie, I cannot help but be a little suspicious. I mean, for goodness sakes, he has more screentime then Rosalina does! You know, in this Super Mario Galaxy movie?! It’s her movie and she doesn’t have nearly as much screen presence as FoxMc-Advertisement?
This movie is an ad, we all know it. I don’t think anyone walked in expecting much, but why are we pretending that’s fine? It feels like these Mario films keep getting a free pass just because they look good or they have Jack Black or that they’re ‘better than the 1993 version.’ Honestly, I’d take that 1993 film any day over these safe, flavorless tuna-fish-sandwich productions. At least it tried. It took real risks. Sure, they didn’t all land—but you could look at the screen and say, “Wow…this movie had some stones.”
I doubt anyone will be saying that about this one. But hey, there’s always the next installment. Third time’s the charm, right?
And I’ll say this, Bob Hoskins is more Mario than Chris Pratt can ever pretend to be. You can take that to the bank.
