OPINION: Happy first two weeks of school, Black Bears. Being back on campus is certainly a dynamic experience. Learning new schedules, completing school work and waking up at 8 a.m. every other day is met with parties, friends and freedom from parents—though not all students are so lucky.
Many students have seen a recent trend among University of Maine parents, either during orientation or throughout the year, featuring an onslaught of overbearing questions, comments and concerns regarding their child’s wellbeing while on campus. To clarify, I do not oppose the standard line of questioning and checking-in that comes with sending your child off to college. Obviously, they’re gonna care and that’s a good thing. However, it seems that there has been a clear drop-off in both the productivity and sensibility of these behaviours from the parents of the last three years.
Whether this trend can be attributed to the pandemic or to smartphones is irrelevant—what matters is that we now have parents who, thanks to apps like Life360 and mobile banking, are constantly checking their child’s location and expenses while they begin their journey on campus.
“I remember I had friends last year whose parents were still watching where they were going or what they were doing even when they were 18,” said Esther Penney, a second-year accounting and finance student. “One of my close friends’ moms would text every time they spent money because their mom saw money leave their account. That can definitely feel overbearing because you’re finally feeling freedom of living without your family and you still could experience the feeling that they are still in charge of you.”
Indeed, this surveillance trend can be detrimental to a student’s formative first weeks in Orono. Learning how to independently navigate the academics, geography and social life of UMaine is essential to a good student experience here, and having parents constantly inserting themselves in that formation may derail their child’s chances of getting a proper fall semester experience. It is important for freshmen to make the right mistakes (or wrong ones, in some cases) and be able to learn from them without outside input.
“Move in week is a very common week for parents to be reaching out regularly and checking in to make sure everything is going well but some parents can be a little much without realizing it,” continued Penney. “I think it’s fair for a parent to worry about us students and the choices we are making because they want us to be happy and prepared in life. I also think with college comes taking a step further in life where we experience freedom and the challenges [associated] with decision–making.”
Of course, there are exceptions to this trend—either parents who never call or students who definitely need a bit more support than others—but it is important as a parent to acknowledge that this first step into adulthood requires some autonomy. Let your kid have to walk home from Delta and accidentally spend too much on Buffalo Wild Wings while they experience college for the first time. It’s totally worth it.
