Hey guys so this is my last YikYak Beat before I am fired, so soak it up! If you’re sad about my termination feel free to doxx our Editor-in-Chief.
3/15:
This is perhaps my favorite interaction on this app: ‘touchmytitos’ posted “forgot that respondus does webcam and just realized I was packing a bowl mid quiz.” Someone commented, “instagram keeps showing me fanart of markiplier harness and i’ve never felt so seen (turning on anon for this bc i’m ashamed).” Ummmmm, “Thanks for sharing?” Quick fun fact I guess.
“It is not a slowburn when its only 1,000 words thats barely a singe.” I’m more of a combustion guy myself.
“There’s actually a sensor in DPC that sounds an alarm if you have an IQ over 100.” I have heard that you’ll get kicked out of Ferland if you’ve showered in the last 48 hours.
“Hey has this pile of bones always been here.” Yeah, it’s called my pants.
3/17:
“I would simply not be lured away by the voice in the woods.” Hey ‘critical_stinker,’ do they sound hot?
3/18:
Someone received a snapchat asking “What’s the point of talking if I can’t see ur boobies.” I don’t like the informal form of boob used here.
“Yikyak if all the people with usernames stopped pretending they were celebrities.” Don’t be hating from outside the club.
3/19:
“I just got slimed out at brandy melville.” Probably not skinny enough.
3/20:
In response to Chuck Norris passing, ‘york.groundhog’ posted “Oh my god the avatar disappeared when the world needed him most.” I forgot Chuck is real and not just like a myth or something.
3/22:
“You have a ten second head start beginning right now.” Wait, that is so much time. Like too much time in my opinion. I could do so much in that amount of time. Is that just me or is that like a lot of time?
3/24:
Another amazing sequence of events was: “It’s been a great day, someone left their car unlocked in the CCA with a wallet sitting right there in the open. There was a bunch of money. I just couldn’t help myself. Thank you god!” There was a wide variety of comments, including “I hope your family dies.”
What made this funny is that it was actually posted a few hours after someone else complained that “Whoever emptied my wallet and stole everything in it today in the CCA lot i actually hope you f*cking die I forget to lock my car once and of course its the day some fat a*s useless piece of sh*t gets some sticky fingers like F*CK you.” Wow let’s not.
3/27:
“When critical_stinker graduates I’m deleting yikyak and killing myself.” Me too.
“Walkin around the union and fartin with each step.” One thing about me is I be farting. Anyway happy spring y’all. Stay super freaky and have great pechina.
*Editor’s note: The YikYak Beat is on probation and the editorial board is split in its decision to continue it. If you wish see more YikYak Beat, message culture@mainecampus.com to voice your thoughts. If you wish for YikYak Beat to get cut, tear out this page.
