Happy last YikYak Beat of the ‘25-’26 Academic year! It has been a great ride. We laughed, we cried, I almost got fired and probably made UMaine administration uncomfortable: it was awesome! Luckily the new culture editor plans to keep the YikYak beat alive, so hopefully UMaine stays on their toes. They thought they were safe, but we’ll be back!
4/20:
“Yall complain about April showers as if it literally doesn’t bring May flowers like cmon.” The same people be bringing horses to water thinking they can make ‘em drink.
“Dirty mashed potatoes for a dirty girl.” Do I want to know what entails dirty mashed potatoes? …No. But here we are.
4/21:
“Do ppl really get laid off yikyak thats crazy to me.” Did anything ever come of the YikYak Match? Nevermind, who am I kidding.
“Therapist said we can skip next week but I don’t think she knows Noah Kahans album is being released Friday.” People are still listening to him? “I think you’ll be okay.” Someone’s mentally healthy.
I love how helpful people are on YikYak, it is so beautiful! “Guys what day is Maine day.” People explained, “The 32nd,” “you missed it. it is famously the first wednesday of april,” “tomorrow,” and “67th.”
“If you work for parking services actually f*ck you.” Don’t even get me started on this. “Class traitors,” said ‘flamingnoodle.’
“Need me a real thinkerly man…” Don’t we all pal, maybe you should look in Ferland and keep us all posted. Warning, they may be a little stinky.
4/22:
Before any context I stumbled upon “#touchmytitosIsOverParty.” It’s getting heated.
“A lobotomy would hit so hard rn.”
“In honor of earth day I think I should skip all of my classes.” “Sounds reasonable.”
“Meat lovers and thin mints.” Is this gay lingo? Or a great band name!
4/23:
“I swear hilltop just adds food coloring to the food and not actual seasoning,” said ‘touchmytitos.’ Well actually Red 40 is a seasoning so…
“An old guy in Walmart asked me if I wanted to race in the electronic carts [crying emoji],” said ‘doigaboigadingdong.’ I hope you said yes!
A beautiful and amazing thing occurred this week. We finally got the UMaine Parking Services on YikYak. In a comment to a post about Earth Day thirst traps, ‘umoparkingservices’ said “We here at UMO parking services had a great earth day! We compacted 20 illegally parked vehicles [silly face]. Have a great day Black Bears.”
An original by ‘umoparkingservices’: “Rooftop parking on top of Cumberland hall will open in two weeks! Good night Black Bears.” OMG I can’t wait! “Yeah but you f*ckers are gonna make it a blue lot.” Fine, I’ll just put all of them in neutral and push them off.
“Good news Black Bears! Dunn lot is set for demolition in August in lieu of a new professional pickleball court; no alternative parking will be provided. Go blue!” Ummm, ‘professional pickleball’ is a bit of an oxymoron. “I would appreciate if you stopped spreading lies. There’s enough real stupidity in the world. I cannot deal with.” Damn, chill man.
“Anyone else craving a no commitment sensual relationship for the short remainder of this semester. I’m talkin late night walks and put flowers in your ear and stuff.” Nothing bad could ever come of this! ‘umoparkingservices’ commented “Only if they have UMaine parking pass// Have a great night Black Bears.”
4/25:
“i HATE when people are funnier than me.” Sucks to suck!
“They should make a website where we have to register our borgs so no one has the same name.” I’m loving the idea but I fear it would be a bloodbath. Come to think of it, make an Instagram page like for high school prom dresses.
“Can Harambe stop the GTA V plane?” Good question!!
4/26:
“There is not nearly as many orgies in college as I expected and I’m lowk disappointed.” I’m sorry for your loss. If you need any professional help, call 988 please and thanks.
