This is the second to last YikYak Beat I will ever write. I would say I’m sad but that would be ignoring the breath of fresh air I yearn to feel when I am finally released from this prison of my own design. Anyways, big collab with the new culture editor this week, hope you like it!
4/14:
“Umaine custodians are extremely understaffed and underpaid so pls keep that in mind when yall move out, I just spoke to one of them about it and they were super sweet but poor guy seemed stressed tf out.” Some people’s moms always cleaned up after them and it shows.
“Love how the mall looks like a college brochure rn.” Ugh, I can’t wait to hangout with my multicultural group of friends and play hacky sack on the greenest grass you have ever seen!
“You do not have the right to be revving your car around campus is you’re driving what seems to be a f*ck ass blue Subaru.” “EVERY DAY.” “Yo like that’s probably my car but it’s not on purpose there’s something wrong with it so my fault.” Don’t you even worry about it, girl, it’s not your fault.
4/15:
For whatever reason everyone is skipping class this week, and YikYak was their way of coping. “Once you start skipping class you never go back,” was followed by “what skipping class feels like in spring semester.”
“Invincible was crazy this week.” Someone says this every week and every week the episode is just as big a let down as the last. Another commented “Aniss would get the work so quick fr.” Come again?
“Recommendations for cutting snacks.” Typically I like to eat something called food, there’s a lot of variety so you should totally check it out! After that you gotta get into water, it’s great as a chaser for food and I for some reason feel better when I have it. Great pre-workout too!
“Why are we going 25 on kelly road.” So did everyone suddenly forget how to drive? Why are we going 5 under everywhere!?!?
“Thinking hard about my ex situationship tn.” Don’t worry, they are also thinking about you, and you should reach out. Nothing bad has ever come out of such a thing.
4/16:
“Guys how do I get the buzzball taste out my owala.” “Why would you put it in your owala.” I mean… why wouldn’t you put that in your Owala other than the permanent taste of stomach acid in your water bottle??
“Id feel terrible if I was the one walking to cause the crash [skull emoji] but also super lucky the cars didnt get pushed into the pedestrians.”
“what if tomorrow there was a 7 pileup crash on Rangeley road.” “67.” Okay this is funny, but maybe too soon.
One person said, “Has pbr grillos came out yet.” Valid question but this is on the same level as Crumbl cookie shampoo. Have fun camping out at All Town during finals week to get some spear beer.
In a repost of another post was “Nice try officer.” “This post is unavailable.” The narc got narced.
“RIP to all of my homies that are burdened with car repair costs after today I hope yall can afford it.” The price you pay for living off campus. With the way people use that roundabout I’m surprised this was the only crash this year. “Whoever cause the accident, their insurance will end up paying.” Wow you have no idea how insurance works.
“Whoever makes the newspaper crosswords has gotta stop.” Sorry, Maine Campus is all gas no brakes (**but please do not drive like that, let’s not repeat our past mistakes!)
“Can someone tell the penobscot yodeler to stfu.” Hey, you’ve got a mouth, try using it!
4/18:
“Don’t let your guard down ladies, just got harassed in the walmart parking lot.” Someone replied, “I’ve been catcalled there [discouraged emoji] the worst.” “Last time i was catcalled i was meowed at in costa rica.” Oh! Is this how furries catcall? (Asking for a friend…)
“The driver era is stupid as hell.” What, you don’t like Hannaford music?
“bro i lowkey pulled my groin or something running.” Wow, I’m sure society is suffering from that loss right now. “Ok? Do you want a cookie?” He’s a runner, he probably can’t eat cookies. “You must be fun to be around.”
“The way that I keep letting these 1.5% of my final grade assignments keep slipping is soooo bad but soooo addictive at the same time.” “Who cares.” Ouch.
